Paulette's Point

My grandpa.....a guardian angel!

2012-01-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

I had a rather peculiar dream last night. It's one of those kind of dreams that you just can't ignore. It was about my grandpa. I don't recall the last time I dreamed about him (if ever). My grandpa, Anthon Edson Black, passed away from heart disease when I was a junior in high school. He was a funny man with very little hair and his index finger on his right hand was a stub because of an accident he had working at the floor mill in Blanding. I grew up in the house that he built with his first wife that was just down the road from that flour mill. He was the oldest of several brothers and sisters (I forget how many), and a very hard worker. All of his grandkids (there are many, because of blended families) knew him as a very kind man who liked to tease.:) Perhaps that's where I get my sarcastic spirit from.:)

Growing up, I never really had a great relationship with him. I don't why exactly. Honestly, from most of my family (extended cousins, and even sisters) I always felt like they looked at me like a misfit. Perhaps it's because I'm the only child of my mom and my dad, and the Black family never felt a good connection with my dad, and perhaps they looked at me as being just like him. I don't know for sure. No one has ever admitted it to me, but you know when there is an uneasy and awkward feeling because people don't dare say what they are thinking....

Anywho, perhaps that is a subject for another time. The point is that I've always felt like a misfit when it comes to "fitting in" with the norm of my family. And the dream I had last night was wonderful! I felt alot of love from my grandpa! In the dream I was driving a truck (my grandpa did that for a living, he was always on the road driving truck). He popped in somehow and we were driving together. He wanted to take me to Brigham City (where my oldest sister lives). But something came up, it didn't work out and he took my mom with him instead. When they got back they came to my house, my mom was talking alot and he asked me if I was planning to sell the house. I said "yes." And then he pointed to a map that was on the wall and my mom looked at it and said Valerie (my sister's name). She was pointing to the place where my nephew (Valerie's oldest) got married just last month, and then I woke up.

This dream struck me so! Almost like my grandpa was trying to tell me something. You see, I missed two major events in my family's life recently. Because my mom and I have been fighting and I didn't feel comfortable facing all them after what I've been through, and the misunderstandings we had between us. My nephew got married and I didn't make it to his reception. I wanted to, but my feelings for my mom got in the way. My other nephew (that lives in Brigham City) had a mission farewell that I didn't make it to. I really, really wanted to, but life has been so incredibly overwhelming lately that I just didn't get the energy or the gas money to make it there.

I had an incredible feeling of love come over me after I woke up from the dream and was thinking about it. My grandpa was telling me that he has always loved me very much, and that my mom got in the way of us having a good relationship. I don't mean to speak badly of my mom. I think she acted the best she knew how given her circumstances. I have wondered over the years, since his death, if my grandpa was watching out for me, and this dream confirmed it. I've had similar experiences with my step-brother (who was shot in a gang-related incident several years ago), and also an experience with the man who gave my mom a good job all the years I was growing up (who passed away about 6 years ago). I can't help but wonder if I have a special purpose here, and the loved ones that have gone on are here around me to help me with that purpose. Who knows, but all these experiences are hard to ignore and pass off as mere coincidences.:) Hmmmm.....

Gotta love Harry Potter!

2012-01-06T04:34:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favorite scenes in the very last movie. I could play it over and over again (I'm funny that way). Voldemort has finally succeeded with what he has been attempting to do for about 17 years, kill Harry. He did it in the forest with the Elder Wand and Harry just let him....he didn't fight it. He was ready and willing to die so others wouldn't have to anymore (such bravery....a true Griffendor). What Voldemort didn't know, however that by killing Harry he also killed a part of himself. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the books!):). And Harry had a choice to come back.

Voldemort marches to the castle with all of his followers with Hagrid holding Harry's limp body. (even Hagrid thinks Harry is dead). And at the castle he is met by all of those who would call themselves Harry's followers (those that are fighting for their rights to live....those that have faith in Harry to see this nightmare through till the end). For the "prophecy" states that Harry IS "The Chosen One"....right??

Voldemort gives a horrifying speech, that Harry is in fact DEAD! And that all those who have faith in Harry should now turn their faith over to him....or die (pretty much). Such news of Harry's death has made Harry's followers weak, and Voldemort's are strong. A bruised and wounded boy hobbles forward, Neville Longbottom. The shy, awkward kid who's parents were tortured crazy and had to live with his grandmother. The kid, who could have also been "The Chosen One" according to the similarities in the prophecy. But for fear of what the prophecy could mean, Voldemort singled out Harry and made him his enemy instead of Neville. (again, if you don't know what I'm talking about read the books!)

Neville hobbles forward and Voldemort is laughing out of shock and bewilderment and probably humor too (I believe).

"Ah, Neville Longbottom is it? So great of you to join our ranks!" (snickering)

"I'd like to say somethin'!"

*Voldemort is taken back, a little stunned....regains his composure*
"Well, Neville I'm sure we'd all be fascinated with what you have to say" (with a bit of sarcasm)

What Neville says next is very profound!! Even I am a little surprised it came from him.
"It doesn't matter that Harry's gone." (gasp) "People die everyday! Fred, Tonks, Remus! But they still live with us...in here (points to his heart). They did not die in vain!" Looks towards Voldemort "But YOU will, because you are wrong!"

*Voldemort is laughing evilishly*

Neville stands back, pulls the sword of Griffendor out of the sorting hat, (he just proved himself a TRUE Griffendor!) and gets ready to defend himself and all those around him.

Harry pushes himself out of Hagrid's arms and falls to the ground. Harry is ALIVE, and Voldemort is dumbfounded! He starts casting spells haphazardly towards Harry as Harry runs to safety at the castle door.

What just happened is pure awesomeness! It made the most self-proclaimed, powerful wizard of all time go "What the crap??" Voldemort doesn't know what to think or do, and neither do his followers. They start disappearing like flies. He grows weaker by the second, and Harry is growing stronger by the second!

Hahaha! I LOVE it!:)

Where is your faith.....truly? Where is your love....truly? Does love truly conquer all? According to "Harry Potter".....I would say......yes!

Good ol' Harry Potter....again

2011-12-28T05:19:00.001-08:00

Well, here I sit in front of the computer....because I can't sleep. My 3-year-old has been up most of the night throwing up. But at least the baby is still sleeping. Being a single-mom is not easy. I don't recommend it.:) I don't plan to stay single for much longer either.:) I'm still in the process of weeding out the horrible bad things in my life. Thank goodness the Lord has mercy and can work miracles through others (to help make up for what Satan does....through others).

Thinking back to Harry Potter.:) Snape (a former Death-Eater) is a very complex character. Through the whole 7-book series you just can't figure him out. Is good or is he bad?? Up until the last few chapters of the 7th book I was pretty sure I had him figured out. I suspected that he was in-love with Harry's mother, Lilly (which turned out to be right). But yet, if he had love in his heart how could he have killed Dumbledore? It didn't make sense. So I drew the conclusion that although he loved Lilly, his hatred for James turned to more hatred for Harry, and thus he allowed his hatred for Harry to penetrate his heart and he betrayed Dumbledore (making him a true follower of Voldemort).

The scene in the movie, where we finally get an explanation of who Snape really is, is a good illustration. We see that his love for Lilly overcame his desire to follow Voldemort. He was horribly grieved when she died. And he swore to protect her son that she died for. BUT the ONLY person who knew the truth of that was Dumbledore, for Dumbledore also swore that he wouldn't tell anyone under the request of Snape. Harry only (up until the end) ever saw the bad in Snape. He always felt Snape's eye watching him as if he had "something in" for him. Plus Snape only saw in Harry an image that he loathed (Harry's father James), thus making him judge Harry as being an arrogant swine (something Harry definitely wasn't). Dumbledore, however saw something completely different in Harry that pulled Harry threw what he ultimately had to do. Because Snape trusted Dumbledore's judgment and because of his love for Lilly he continued to risk his life to protect Harry (unseen). Harry never saw this until the end (after Snape was killed). Snape didn't kill Dumbledore out of hatred. He killed Dumbledore because Dumbledore was dying and it was the only way Snape could gain the full trust of Voldemort so he could remain a "double-agent" (for lack of a better term). Thus helping Harry bring "you-know-who" down.

Wow, such brilliance!! Who can ever say that they don't like Harry Potter....really?? We can be so deceived of the truth by our own perspectives!! Again, I say watch what you are listening to. Satan would have us believe the worst in people. Where as Christ would have us see the best in people. What you "hear" others say about you also is an indicator of who you are listening to. If you are always afraid of the judgment of others, that could be an indicator that you listen to Satan far more than you should. Brilliant, I tell ya! Absolutely brilliant!!:)

Merry Christmas! (2011)

2011-12-24T15:30:00.000-08:00

Traditionally I have sent out a Christmas/end-of-the-year letter out to my family and friends during this time of year. But I have given lame excuses the last couple of years and didn't get it done. In 2009 I used the excuse that I was way too busy with building the house and that I'd write one after we moved in (Feb) to make up for it. (oops....never happened) And then last year at this time (which was only 2 months after the separation, and I was fat and pregnant) I was just trying to make ends meet and concentrated on making Christmas fun for the kids as much as I could. I was good to get a shower most days, and get my kids to school.

This year is a bit better, but still difficult. I have moved....again. Bountiful (for whatever reason) wasn't working out. It felt good to move there, but then several (wacky) things transpired and I felt I needed to move again. All I can say is that the Lord works in a mysterious way, and that all things happen on His timing. I must have learned what I needed to in Bountiful, and that's that.

I found a cute little apartment in Lehi (by Thanksgiving Point). So far the ward has been good to me. It's strange to be in an apartment again, but it's not that bad, really. It's decent-sized and affordable, equipped with a swimming pool, basketball court, and playground area...fun!:)

Looking back at this year and what I've been through in the last 12 months could make anyone want to crawl into a hole and die. I'm getting a bit emotional just thinking about it....(thank goodness you can't see that through the computer screen):'/ ....................................*deep breath*....................The Lord IS my shepherd! I can honestly say that I have been through hell and back, and I testify that it was my Savior who pulled me through.......every damn step of the way!! (forgive my language, but I think you'd understand if you knew what I was talking about). I have gained a new sense to life, and a new eye to see, and a new heart to love! I've experienced a true change of heart! Which took a sort of spiritual surgery to take out the old one, and time for the new one to heal and recover. Only He and I have a full understanding of what it was like for me. I am forever grateful for His mercy and love!

With Christmas only a day away, I bare my testimony of the things I know to be true. That God LOVES all of His children! He watches out for each and everyone of us. We are HIS creation and HIS prosperity. Why would he not love us or watch out for us? He gave His ONLY son......because he loves US! Christ died for US! He set terms that we CAN follow. All we need to do is look to Him and live! He overcame death.....he overcame hate......he overcame pain......he overcame sorrow.......he overcame fear......he overcame sin/bondage. Through the blood of His infinite atonement we can have eternal life............love...........pleasure.......joy...........faith.......progression......posterity.........and have the glory of God and be perfect like our Heavenly Father.

May this Christmas be remembered and cherished. May we all show love to God's children, because He loves us all so very, very much! And spread the message of peace and joy! He is the Prince of Peace.....Lord of Lords......Wonderful Counselor......The Mighty God......The Everlasting Father.....May we press forward everyday, spreading messages of His love and mercy, until the day when He comes again, and we can finally fall to kneel at His feet and kiss His wounded hands! Merry Christmas to ALL! God IS love and Christ IS the way! -All my love to all my friends!

That darn (white) cat.....

2011-12-08T13:26:00.000-08:00

Alright, I'll take a break from Harry Potter for a moment...and tell you about something I find quite interesting.

I've been in this cute little house for almost 5 months now. It was a stepping stone for me, I believe. A place where my kids and I could seek refuge for a little bit to recover from the tornado that came into our lives and tore into pieces and scattered them everywhere. We've been taking it easy, day by day, finding even better pieces to replace the others and putting them together using faith as the glue and making our bond stronger. Such is life....life is a progression....and as long as we can learn from our mistakes we are doing awesome!

There is this cat that comes to our little cute house and has been doing so ever since we moved in. It's a pure white cat with brown eyes. I, personally haven't seen too many pure white cats in my day. Lizzy named him Snowflake because he is so white. It belongs to a family up the street. I know this because we've returned it there more than once (responding to a "missing kitty" flier that was posted in the neighborhood). And it keeps coming back. I don't know why it keeps coming back. We don't feed it....Eli is kinda mean to it....but Lizzy loves it. The darn cat loves me, though. It's rather peculiar....it doesn't pay attention to the kids when it comes over. It comes right to me, and when I pick it up it starts licking my face like crazy! After the first few times I just gave in and started petting it, giving it some loving back, what the heck.:) It will even nibble at my ear (very strange, I've never had a cat do that to me before). I love the sound of his purr!;)

I do love cats and have ever since I was young. They are smart and take care of themselves and purr when you pet them.:) What more could you ask for?

Harry Potter.....again (spoiler....again)

2011-12-02T18:31:00.000-08:00

To continue with my Harry Potter theme I'm going to take a minute and discuss one of my most favorite characters.....Dumbledore! Why him you ask? Because he is, as all wizards should be....VERY wise. But he's more than that, he is also quirky, silly, cool, calm, kind, accepting, sophisticated, funny, witty (all the things I strive to be). I loved that character so much that I actually went into shock and found myself going through the grieving stages when JK Rowling had him killed by none other than Snape himself at the end of the 6th book. I still cry every time I read about Hagrid carrying his limp body across the grounds of Hogwarts, and the mermaids singing at his funeral.

There is a scene at the end of the last movie where Harry has given himself up to Voldemort and finds himself with Dumbledore (who is dead, too) at King's Cross Station. Harry and Dumbledore's souls are completely whole, while Voldemort is but an ugly, bloody, helpless, and almost infant-looking mass (because of the things he did). There is much to see in this scene! (and for those who have never read Harry Potter, you don't know what you are missing.....I love stories...especially ones that make you think about real life and how it relates!)

Dumbledore: "You can't help it (referring to Voldemort's bloody, helpless soul lying on the floor). Harry, you wonderful boy. You brave, brave man! Let us walk."

Harry: "Professor, what is that?"

D: "Something beyond either of our help. A part of Voldemort sent here to die."

H: "And exactly where are we?"

D: "I was going to ask you that. Where would you say that we are?"

H: "Well, it looks like King's Cross Station, but cleaner and without the trains."

D: "King's Cross Station, is that right? This is what they say 'your party.' I suspect you realize
that you and Voldemort have been connected to something other than fate since that night in Godric's Hollow all those years ago."

H: "So it's true then, sir? A part of him lives within me?"

D: "Did.....it was just destroyed moments ago by none other than Voldemort himself. You were the horcrux he never meant to make, Harry."

H: (thinks for a moment) "I've got to go back now, haven't I?"

D: "Oh, that's up to you."

H: "I have a choice?"

D: "Oh yes! We're in King's Cross you say? I think that if you so desired you'd be able to...board a train."

H: "And where would it take me?"

D: (chuckles) "ON!"
*sound of train approaching.....Harry stands up, gazing into the distance*

H: "Voldemort has the Elder Wand...."

D: (nods) "True...."

H: "And the snake is still alive...."

D: "Yes...."

H: "And I have nothing to kill it with." (exasperated look)

D: "Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.....(pauses)...I've always praised myself on my ability to turn a phrase. Words, in my not-so-humble opinion, are a most inexhaustible source of magic....capable of both inflicting injury and also remedying it. But I would in this case amend my original statement to this....'help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who deserve it.'" (smiles) *backing away* "Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living! And those that live without love...."

H: "Professor is this all real or is it just happening inside my head?"

D: "Of course it's happening inside your head, Harry!!! Why should that mean it is not real?"

Dumbledore walks and fades into the distance, while we find Harry back to where he was to finish his life and rid the wizarding world of the most powerful (evil) wizard.....Voldemort!

Harry Potter (spoiler....don't read if you don't want to be spoiled)

2011-11-19T14:27:00.000-08:00

Since I wasted two posts talking about Twilight....the next several posts are going towards a story more deserving of my time and effort...Harry Potter. I am a huge fan of JK Rowling! I think she is absolutely brilliant! I'm not one to dress up in character form, I'm not THAT devoted, I guess (never say never, though.) But I have taken several "house sorting" tests on the internet to see what house I would be sorted in if I really did live in the Harry Potter world. (Now, you are safe to call me a dork). And EVERY test I took said I was a Ravenclaw (which I am very proud of)! Ravenclaws are known for their smarts and cleverness. However, I wonder if I were to take another one now after having gone through my divorce if I'd be in Gryffindor instead, who are known for their bravery. But since I do have a choice, I think I'll stick with the Ravenclaws, merely because I like the color combination of blue & black better than red & gold. Perhaps I'm meant to be in both, because the Harry Potter scarf that my brother-in-law knitted for me a few years ago is blue & orangish.:)

I've been watching the 2nd movie of the 7th book on DVD over the last couple of days. I caught so much more this time around than when I saw it at the movie theater. I'll just say that I am quite impressed with how they converted that brilliant book into movie form. It all ended quite epically, for the most part.

There is a scene that is completely dialogue of an interaction between Harry and Aberforth (Dumbledore's brother) was brilliantly written and executed! It sums up everything about who Harry really is. Aberforth drills him pretty good, to either attempt to see right through him or to scare him out of his whits. What Aberforth says to him is exactly what Harry has been fearing over the last year since Dumbledore's death.....how did Harry react?

Harry: "We need to get into Hogwarts tonight. Dumbledore gave us a job to do."

Aberforth: "Did he now? Nice job?? Easy??"

H: "We've been hunting horcruxes. We believe the last one is inside the castle. We need your help getting in."

A: "It's not a job my brother has given you....it's a suicide mission. Do yourself a favor, boy, GO HOME! Live a little longer."

H: "Dumbledore trusted me to see this through."

A: "What makes you think you can trust him? What makes you think you can believe anything he told you? In all the time you knew him, did he ever mention my name? Did he ever mention her's?" (pointing to a picture of their dead sister on the wall)
H: "Why should he?"

A: "He keeps secrets, you tell me."

H: "I trusted him."

A: "That's a boy's answer! A boy who goes chasing horcruxes on the word of a man who wouldn't even tell him where to start. You're LYING! (pointing his finger at him) Not just to me, that doesn't matter, but to yourself as well. That's what a fool does. You don't strike me as a fool, Harry Potter. So, I ask you again...there MUST be a reason." (looking at him straight in the eye)

How Harry responds next is pure proof of his true strength of character! Just what Aberforth was drilling him for, I believe.

H: "I'm not interested in what happened between you and your brother. I don't care that you've given up! I trusted the man I knew. We need to get into the castle tonight!"

Now, why did I take all the time and effort to share this scene with, do you ask? Because I want to see something important. Aberforth wasn't truly mad at Harry (he actually saved his life a couple of times.) What I said before about Aberforth bringing about the fears that Harry had been worrying about since Dumbledore's death was a challenge to him to see how he would react to the fears. Would he overcome them, or would he let them penetrate and weaken him? All of us hear things all the time from what people say. How and what we choose to hear either weakens us or strengthens us. Satan is the author of fear! If he can make us feel afraid all the time, then he has weakened us and bound us. Fear is the opposite of faith! Don't let the words of others distract you from what you believe is true! And don't blame others for what you hear them say.....

The scene has more that I will share. Harry has judged Aberforth as "given up" from his last statement. Because of the things he heard him say.

Hermione (she's so clever...like me) says, "Thank you, Mr. Dumbledore." And after receiving a glare from Harry continues to say, "He did save our lives twice.....kept an eye on us in that mirror! That doesn't seem like someone who has given up."

Think twice before you judge, and watch what you are listening to! Absolutely brilliant!

My Spiritual Soap Box for the day....

2011-11-06T16:22:00.000-08:00

*Sigh* Life has been a struggle as of late. It's tough to find balance! I know I'm not perfect, but feel so much pressure as a single parent to be perfect and the right person for everyone in every given situation. Some days it's more than I can take. But I keep reminding myself to take things a day at a time and that my kids are striving to find stability and their own freedom to think and act and feel for themselves. Nothing is ever certain and nothing is figured out in an instant.....that it takes time to heal and recover for everyone. Can I just keep reminding myself that?

In Sunday School today we had a pretty awesome lesson. We went through some of Paul's scriptures (he writes beautifully, btw).....found in 1st and 2nd Timothy. I've had some frustrations come about with my ex over the last couple of weeks. It is quite clear that we do not see eye to eye on so many things. And what Paul says has helped me understand why. In the 4th Chapter of 1st Timothy Paul describes the latter-day apostasy (yes, you read that right....LATTER-DAY apostasy). Vs 1 and 2 "Now the Spirit speaketh expressly that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils: Speaking lies in hypocrisy: having the conscience seared with a hot iron."

In 2 Tim 3:1-7 is quite interesting....going through the challenges I've had in my life and overcoming what I have over this last year these scriptures have really come to life for me. I totally understand what Paul is saying. "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come....men shall be lovers of their own selves.....without natural affection......false accusers.....despisers of those that are good....lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God.....Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.....led away with divers lusts."

And one of my favorites is found in chaper 3:7 "Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." What does all this mean?

With that last scripture in mind.....I think back to Christ's time. The Pharisees and Sadducees knew SO much of the gospel (I would describe them as very learned men in the faith)....often boasting how much they knew, and also ridiculing those that didn't measure up.....that didn't "appear" to be as holy as they were. They became so conscience about keeping the "letter" of the law that they missed the "spirit" of the law. So much that when Jesus the Christ, the very Son of God was among them....performing miracles in front of their very eyes....they totally MISSED it! They could NOT see Christ for who He was. He was the light and the truth!! Why is it that these "learned" men missed it?? They couldn't see it all! Yet it was right in front of them to behold! They even ended up crucifying him! How is that?

Now, let's come to the latter day, as Paul has prophesied. "Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." I can see that same hypocrisy all over the church of the latter day saints! How many of us go to church every week....follow the code to the letter.....go on missions.....get baptised......go to the temple......(for the very appearance that you are doing what is expected as a member of the church)? Ever learning......BUT never ABLE to come to the knowledge of the truth?? What IS the truth? Is it really trying to "appear" to others that you are perfect in the faith? Or rather is it coming to an understanding of the scriptures and a knowledge of who Christ REALLY is? Christ is the truth, the way and the life....if He were to actually appear in the flesh....how many latter-day saints would be able to see Him for who he is? What are we all expecting to see? Do you feel His love for you? Are you ABLE to be affectionate to others? Does the light of Christ shine in your eyes? Will you know Him when He comes again, because you shall be like Him? Or does your charity fall short, like so many I see in the church?

Hmmmmm......something to ponder. Am I professing that I am perfect? No, not at all.....I just like to make people think! Have fun thinking about that one.;)

It pays to be charming.....

2011-10-15T12:38:00.000-07:00

So, today I found myself at the mall, a place I haven't been to in ages! I was without the kids and excited to take some time to myself. I have a special occasion coming up next week that I wanted to look really nice for. What a better excuse to find a nice new outfit for myself? (I hardly EVER do that). It was NICE!

Have you ever seen those booths in the halls of the mall? Well, needless to say I was mesmerized by a charming Jamaican boy (I can only guess he was Jamaican because he wore dreadlocks down his back, and one of those Jamaicanie hat things). His name??......Jacob!:) (not kidding) After he sat me down to make me feel more comfortable, he gave me a hand scrub with products made from 34 different minerals of the Dead Sea! (hmmmmm....the Dead Sea does have a purpose!) Oh boy, was he charming! He got me to buy the exfoliating salts and body cream. And then he pulled out the big guns! The facial mask, nail kit thingy, eye cream, and skin toner stuff. Ooooo I'm telling you, girlfriends the Dead Sea products feel SO nice!

Well, my friends, I can pull on the charm too! Much better than I realized I could. We started to discuss price for all this stuff......absolutely outrageous! But because I'm so charming I talked him down to half the price.....AND got (not 1, not 2, not 3) but 4 nail kits......AND 4 exfoliating salts......AND 4 body creams(which I'll sell on ebay)........AND the facial mask.........AND skin toner..........AND the eye cream......AND a bottle of water.........AND a picture together..........AND an escort to the car (with all my stuff).......AND a hug at the end.:)-

Ya, I'm pretty good!:) I'm pretty much living out every girl's Twilight fantasy! Just call ME......Bella!:) Hehehehe! Who knew being single would be so darn FUN?

I really don't like Twilight.......but......

2011-10-07T16:44:00.000-07:00

I'm choosing to discuss a topic that may be somewhat sensitive for my female friends......speaking of certain vampires and werewolves. How fitting with the new Twilight movie to have recently (or just about to) come out......I don't exactly know I don't really follow it.

My dear pink lady friends......I love you, you know that.:) However, the topic of Twilight kind of put a damper on our relationship for a little bit because I didn't quite share in your infatuation for the Stephanie Meyer's series. "Twilight" itself wasn't a bad book. I liked it for what it was worth. Sexy vampires living amongst humans seemed rather intriguing, and then werewolves were thrown into the mix and it seemed to have potential. But by the time I was reading the 3rd book (Eclipse) I grew very tired of Bella and her whinny, victimized, immature, me-me-me persona. It didn't help matters that the book was written in her perspective. Part of me wanted her to end up with Jacob just because I didn't think she deserved to be with Edward. But then Edward loved her so much, I couldn't bare the thought of them not being together.

By the time I finally got through the 4th book I said to myself, "really......did I just read that??" The 4th book was probably one of the most anti-climatic books I have ever read. HUGE disappointment. How on earth can a writer build up a concept like that, stirring the vampires to a rebellion only to have it end in a fizzle?

So, my opinion of the Twilight series is that it's a bunch of fluff, subject to silly female hormoneness. With the exception of one character.....Edward! He is one of the BEST characters ever imagined and I'll tell you why. He is a vampire (fictional)....that's not really why, it's still coming......so he lusts after human blood. And Bella's blood is so incredibly sweet to him! Her sweetness is so strong that every time she walks in the room it's like a blow of hot air to his face. Why doesn't he bite her?? Why doesn't he just go in for the kill and satisfy his strong desire for her sweet bloody taste? Because he is a "good" vampire. He doesn't believe in killing humans to get what he wants. He thinks about his repercussions. He LOVES her.......he loves her so much he can't bare to hurt her......kill her. Even when she begs him to he won't. WOW.....what incredible self-control he has. And I find that SO INCREDIBLY SEXY in a man!!

So......do I like Twilight?.....no, not really. BUT I love Edward!! Did Bella deserve him?.....I don't really think so, but he LOVED her so much that I am so flippin' happy they are together.:) -The End!

A reunion to remember

2011-09-26T16:36:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty awesome weekend! You see these two ladies here?? I love them with ALL of my heart! They are sisters, and I've known them since I was 5 years old. We've been through alot together and we've seen each other go through alot over all those years.

You see....my parents were divorced when I was 7, and being the baby of the family (with 10 years in between my closest sister) I pretty much only had my mom around growing up. These two girls were my best friends. I spent ALOT of time at their house playing barbies, kick the can (and other night games), sardines, having talent shows, listening to Debbie Gibson, having sleep-overs, writing on each others feet, birthday parties, late-night talks, singing to the piano, pretending to be teenagers, watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, cruising Recapture Lake on their dad's boat, ice cream cones at The Patio......(only to name a few things):)..... Their family helped pull me through my young childhood. I'm so grateful for good friends! And I'm even more grateful that we can still be in touch, and after several years of not seeing each other we can pick up where we left off with no problem.

Michele is on the left holding her kitty. She is the longest friend I have ever had, and no matter how much time passes before we are in touch again I know she loves me no matter what! She has a sincere heart and she has been through so much in her life. She also knows what it's like to go through a tough divorce. She is an example to me of steadfastness and dedicated temple work. She has a disease that effects her organs, and somehow she just keeps on goin' through the constant health issues. I want her to know I love her very much!

Lori is on the right. She is someone I've always looked up to. I think she is so cool and funny and fun to be around. She has always been so selfless and patient! She is one of the most selfless people I know.....always looking out for the welfare of others before her own, and does it with a smile. She is very sincere and cute and sweet and someone I strive to be like. She is amazing. Her kids are pretty darn cute as well.:)

After about 8 years of not seeing each other, this reunion happened because their younger brother was having a mission farewell. I saw an opportunity to see them and I snatched it up! Michele and I spent all evening and night catching up and she pulled out some old pictures that brought back a ton of memories. Reminiscing old times is so FUN!:)

I love my friends! Especially ones that are always there for me NO matter what! I honestly don't know where I would be without friends like these! I love you with ALL my heart!

A day at the park

2011-09-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to lunch with a good friend of mine to celebrate my birthday. We enjoyed a meal of Gnocchi Soup at the Olive Garden (mmmmm....soup!). Then she showed me the way to this nifty park in Layton (by the city office). It had cool things like ducks (that get well fed), one of those dirt scooper seat thingies (you know what I'm talking about, right?), and a merry-go-round. I hadn't seen one of those in YEARS! They just don't allow things like that anymore.....bummer. My kids LOVED it!

After my friend left....my kids wanted to stay a little longer.....so I said "okay." I thought I'd read some while they played some more. And as I sat on the bench to read I noticed a lady pushing a girl (who looked to be about 12 years old) on the swing. And as she was pushing she was singing to her. She sang songs like "the wheels on the bus," "a riggabamboo" "twinkle, twinkle little star." It seemed rather peculiar for a 12-year-old to be enjoying something like that. And as I looked closer I could see that the girl was handicapped. She kept wanting her friend to sing more. Then she brought out some Disney songs that I haven't heard in ages....."Baby Mine (Dumbo)," "Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious (don't laugh at my spelling....who even cares):)," "Let's go fly a kite."

After about a good 30 minutes it was time for them to go. The lady pushing the swing said, "let's go play with your toys, Abby!" And she proceeded to carry her by piggy-back all the way across the big lawn towards the street, where I can assume their car was parked.

I was so intrigued by this scene of selflessness that I couldn't even concentrate on my book. That little handicapped girl is so loved, and I am so glad! How many of us (including me) have the patience for that kind of service in the middle of a public park? I'm sure angels were smiling on them......especially me!:)

*and as a side-note....Lizzy did two good deeds at the park....you'll have to ask HER what they were.:)

My Birthday.......and stuff.....

2011-09-19T15:51:00.000-07:00

Hello, my friends.....it's been a while.

I just had a great birthday! I was a little worried about how it would go seeing as it is my first birthday since the divorce.....and that can always be tough. But somehow all the planets aligned and I can safely say that it was a darn good day!

I took the kids for a birthday lunch at Chuck-A-Rama where they even had little cuppycakes with candles on them (because the restaurant was celebrating their 45th Birthday......what a coincidence).:) And afterwards we walked through the parking lot to Shopko because Lizzy wanted to buy me a present. She picked out the wrapping paper and bow and gift all by herself and hid it in the stroller so it would be a surprise for me. She's such a cutie!:)

And what did she pick out? An adorable little hat, and a little purple (my favorite color) purse. Ahhh! How thoughtful! She is a wonderful daughter!

What comes next will take a little explaining (so bear with me).
About a month ago (when Aiden was in the hospital) I came across a Facebook Group.....it was a chat for people without spouses. And for about a week or two I took part in the discussions and posted my own two-cents. It was quite an interesting dynamic, a whole new way of internet dating. Because you could see everyone's personalities and intellect come out in a big group form (instead of just chatting individually). Well, as a result I've made some fun friends over this Facebook group, in which we also plan group parties together so we can also hang out in person.

Well, needless to say (thanks to the Holy War.....BYU vs. Utah game) there was a BIG party planned on MY birthday....YAY!:) Of course, I just couldn't pass it up......I love parties and I didn't even have to plan it. It just all came together. And (shhhhhh) for our little secret......there is someone I'm pretty interested in.:) He's adorable, funny, witty, boisterous, and extremely intelligent. hehehehe!;) It was FUN! I couldn't have asked for a better birthday!

Yesterday, I went to my sister's in Brigham City and enjoyed Sunday dinner and games. It's been awhile since I hung out with them. For those of you who don't know......my oldest sister is 18 years older than me and her oldest son is just 2 years younger. So I pretty much fit in with the family (as the oldest a daughter).:) I remember so much as a kid playing games at their house with my nephews! So FUN! This time the ladies sat down for a game of Mahjong (not the computer matching game.....but the tiles are similar). It was my first time playing it and I really enjoyed it. It's a bit like Rummikub, but you say things like "pung" and "chang" and it has it's own sophistication with the setup. I felt very sophisticated playing it.:) I'm still getting the hang of the strategy.....but there is always next month's dinner party to play again.

I LOVE to play games! Games are FUN! -The End!

A little taste of pure heaven!

2011-09-01T16:34:00.001-07:00

I've been on a quest.......a quest to find myself. To discover ME.....what I like to do, say, eat, watch.....

I discovered something awesome today! Smith's Marketplace on 200 W in Bountiful is probably one of the coolest grocery stores I've ever seen (I must be sheltered). My awesome neighbor, her name is Jamie! (She really is pretty awesome! She let me come over and watch "Emma" with her last week.) Well, Jamie gave me a bunch of vegetables from her garden. Amongst them was a little pile of cherry tomatoes. Mmmmm.....I've been trying to decide since Sunday, when she gave them to me, what I should do with them. Then today at the Marketplace I had an epiphany......why not try a bruschetta?? (I've never done it....always wanted to).

At this grocery store I discovered a new curiosity.....CHEESE! I browsed through the varieties for about 15 min (poor Eli was growing impatient with me). And decided on a smoked Gouda (never had it.....but it was awesome!) I found some fresh basil and a loaf of french bread (I only stuck with the french bread because I'm poor or I would have ventured on something more daring (the breads also had a good variety).

At home I got out the skillet, coated it with some EVOO, threw in a clove of garlic, halved the cherry tomatoes (threw them in), sprinkled some salt and a little pepper, and let it do it's thing. Later I added the fresh basil.....and oooooo....by this point it was smellin good!:) I let it hang out until the tomatoes looked ready.

In another skillet, set to med-high heat, I buttered 2 slices of the french bread on both sides and toasted them to perfection.

Then I sliced some of the Gouda, put it on the bread and then topped it with the tomatoes! Yum....YUM!!:) It was a pure taste of heaven! WOW! My taste buds are watering now, just thinking about it. There is just something about fresh basil and cooked tomatoes in oil. (And for all my family out there who are like......What, Paulette eats tomatoes??......I just have to say, yes, I have grown up.):)

To fish or NOT to fish

2011-08-24T15:53:00.001-07:00

Oh, it's so good to have my kids back with me!!! A month is a LONG time to be without them. I had them stay the rest of the summer with their dad so they could have as much time with him before they had to move away. And it also gave me some much-needed-me-time. I attended the temple alot while they were gone, and tried to settle my life a bit.

There is this WAY cool pet shop within walking distance of our house. Liz has been dying for a pet. I said that we could have a fish right now. At this pet store there are a plethora of fish (isles of them), coral, lizards, spiders(eww), dogs, birds.... Liz was walking along the isles of fish innocently scoping them out, when I heard a SCREAM! She was obviously traumatized....I asked her what was wrong....she said, "This fish just jumped out of the tank and plopped on the floor......Poor fish, I think it's dead. I feel so sorry for it." I was like "NO way!" Sure enough on the floor in the isle was a puddle of water with a little (dead) fish. But I don't know who was more shook up about it, Liz or the fish itself.

Poor, poor fish! Either it was trying to escape from its captivity or it was real excited to see Elizabeth.:) Which ever way......it was a BAD idea for the fish. Donn...donn....donnn!

Liz got over the trauma of the neurotic fish and we laughed about it.:) She decided on a beautiful red beta fish.....and named her Velvet. Kyler chose a yellow fish and named him Lucky. Now, if we can get the chicken coop cleaned out, perhaps we will venture chickens for our next pet. Yea for chickens, fish......and the crazy one that gave its life so courageously.:)

Prayer, faith, and a little courage

2011-08-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

Well, my friends....I have an update for you! Things are coming together remarkably well. I have a cute little house and I've been working to get it ready for when the kids come up. I have landed a job already! I'll be assisting teachers at Legacy Prep Charter School. I think it will be a perfect job for my circumstance and it will give me teaching experience as I work towards my certificate. It took alot of prayer and faith to come this far in only 9 months, not to mention a little courage to follow those promptings. Faith is knowing that it'll all work out in the end. Prayer is a tool to know the Father's will. And courage is necessary to make it all come together.

Finding a house.....check!
Moving all my stuff (aka:crap)......check!
Finding a job..........check!
Making new friends........check (and still in the works)!
Finding a good husband.........still in the works (will be for a while)!
Mending my heart..........check (pretty much)!

I was thinking today, while driving to pick up my couch I got at DI for $30 (wahoo!), and I had a pretty cool realization. I was thinking about how Christ is our mediator. He serves as the one in the middle to satisfy justice and mercy. Both cannot be obtained without Him. But before, I had always thought that Christ was the mediator between us and Heavenly Father (which is true). This afternoon I realized that He is more than that. He acts as the mediator for all of our relationships. That is why the "marriage triangle" is what makes an eternal marriage possible. A marriage must have Christ as the mediator for it to last in the eternities. Ah ha!:)

None of us knows what another person is thinking or feeling. Communication helps us learn what someone else is thinking, but even that has complications. Misunderstandings happen alot. When people see and understand things differently and there can't be a way to satisfy both parties a mediation must take place. Christ is that perfect mediator. He sees both sides and can offer comfort and mercy and forgiveness for both sides. His atonement is infinite! It covers everything! It provides a way for us, not only to find remission for our sins, but to also find forgiveness, healing, mercy, peace, solace, compassion, comfort, trust(which has to be built)! In ALL of our relationships.

Jesus Christ is my rock and my salvation, but most importantly my truest friend who will always understand ME and be MY advocate! He loves me! He loves you! There is NOTHING that can take that away EVER! Do you feel His love for you? I sure hope so, because it's awesome!:)

Remembering a brave man, someone I grew up with!

2011-08-08T12:08:00.000-07:00

Jason, you are a true hero and will be missed by so many of us! My thoughts and prayers are with his wife and son!!

Community remembers Navy Seal killed in Afghanistan

August 7th, 2011 @ 9:52pm

By Sandra Yi

BLANDING, San Juan County — Jason Workman knew since he was a young boy that he wanted to be a Navy SEAL.

He knew the odds of making the elite fighting force were slim. But Workman not only accomplished his goal but he also became a member of the Elite Navy SEALs Six team.

Saturday, Petty Officer First Class Jason Workman, 32, was among the 31 Americans killed, including 22 members of the Elite Navy SEALs Six team, when their helicopter was shot down by insurgents in Afghanistan.

Members of the Navy SEALs Six team were responsible for killing Osama Bin Laden.

Sunday, the small Southern Utah town of Blanding, where flags flew at half staff, was in mourning over the loss of their hometown hero. The town of about 3,000 people has already lost two other servicemen in the war.

"We are so proud of someone like Jason being from a small town to become an elite special forces soldier." -Tate Bennett

"This community loved what this young man was doing for us, as well as our other soldiers are doing for us," said Toni Turk, Mayor of Blanding. "You drive around the community and the flags are out."

Workman was a man that even if residents hadn't personally met, they were proud to call him one of their own.

"We are so proud of someone like Jason being from a small town to become an elite special forces soldier," said his childhood friend Tate Bennett.

Workman was a star athlete in Blanding, playing high school football, baseball and basketball, reaching All- State status in at least two of those sports. He was also a strong swimmer and competed in triathlons, Bennett said.

"I knew that this young man was doing what he loved; what he aspired to do as an individual, as a human being," said San Juan High School Athletic Director Monty Lee.

But what made Workman a hero to many, Bennett said, was how well-rounded it was.

"He was not only a real good athlete and real popular kid, but he was pretty academic. He took a lot of AP classes. He was just really, really well rounded. He was very personable, very out going."

"He would do anything to help the guy across the table from him," said family friend Rick Eldredge. "He would give you the shirt off his back. He was just willing to do anything for anybody and he's proven by giving his life to this country."

Local Navy Seal killed in Saturday's helicopter crash
A U.S. military helicopter was shot down Saturday, killing at least 30 Americans. One of those killed was an Elite Navy SEAL from a southeastern Utah community.

Workman was the youngest of four brothers. Bennett remembered when Workman's older brother graduated from West Point when he was about 14, he was adamant even then that he was going to grow up to become a Navy SEAL.

The other time he remembers Workman being vocal about his conviction to be a Navy SEAL was right after the 9-11 attack on the World Trade Towers.

After going on a LDS mission to Brazil (which he finished in Philadelphia due to illness) he went to Southern Utah University and later enlisted with the U.S. Navy.

"He was doing it for sole purpose of becoming a seal," Bennett said Workman told him.

Bennett said that Workman knew the odds of becoming a Navy SEAL were slim. But he was determined to make it.

"Not making it just wasn't an option," Bennett said. "He didn't become a Navy SEAL by chance. He knew that's what he wanted at a young age and made it happen."

Bennett recalled Workman always had "some crazy story" about the kind of training Navy SEAL prospects were put through.

Once he became a SEAL, Bennett said it was his understanding that Workman's speciality was in explosives.

But he admitted he didn't even know Workman was part of the Elite Team Six until recently.

Even if Workman had not accomplished his goal of becoming a Navy SEAL, Bennett said he "would have been a hero for somebody in some other aspect, like a firefighter or law enforcement."

Bennett believes that Workman's idea of his purpose in life was to serve and help others. He was big, strong and smart and, "recognized that his gift was best used in helping other people."

When Ian Nielson talked to Workman last month, all he could talk about was his new son and his plans after his tour in Afghanistan.

"He was planning on coming back here for Christmas and he was asking me about the deer hunt coming up," Nielson said.

Workman returned to his hometown nine months ago to train area police and deputies, and was planning to return in December to do some more training

Now a community is grieving his loss, but is proud to call him one of their own.

"I think that everyone should remember Jason as a hero more than anything," Nielson said.

Workman is survived by his wife and 21-month-old son who live in Virginia.

The Workman family released a statement thanking everyone for their prayers and support.

"Jason had been in the service for almost 8 years. He loved his job and was great at it. Jason was the Best of the Best. Jason was admired by so many and will be dearly missed," the family said in their prepared statement.

The family said in their statement that Workman would be buried later this week in Arlington National Cemetery.

A day riding the train

2011-08-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

I love living here!!:)

I have a good friend, her name is Karen! We've been friends since 3rd grade, and we did everything together in high school. We even roomed together during our years at Snow College. She holds a special place in my heart. Well, she lives up in this area with her family and we haven't done very much together over the years because of distance and things. But it's been so fun to be up here closer to her! There has been so much opportunity to hang out, and I've loved it.

Yesterday we took the train to SLC (my first time riding the transit). It was fun! My kids are going to love it when they get here!:) We took the Trax to Temple Square and enjoyed time at the visitor's center. Lately I have been intrigued with watching people and how they behave and react in situations. It's like a new study of mine.:) Anyway, we were sitting by the Christus and a huge group of missionaries were taking pictures. I can only imagine they were from the MTC because there were alot of them. There was a particular group, they looked Asian, who's behavior made both of us chuckle a little bit.:) "Oh, they must be 19-year-old missionaries," we thought. There must have been about 7 or 8 of them, posing awkwardly and silly in front of the statue. I can guess that they were trying to show off.:) Teenagers do funny things, especially when they are away from their parents. It put a smile on our faces, at least, to watch them.;) I also met a nice couple who live in Bountiful and served in Nauvoo with Rosemary and Richard Lee (the sweetest couple who live in Hurricane). Small world!

We also enjoyed a late lunch at Applebee's at the Gateway Mall. Clark's Planetarium was fun too. I can't wait for my kids to move up here in a couple of weeks. I miss them SO much! They are going to have so much fun riding the train to SLC and discovering so many fun things!

I LOVE living here! (did I mention that yet?)

My blessing

2011-07-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

I'm in my cute little house here in Bountiful on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I'm missing my kids and their sweet faces.

I've been unpacking some more....and I came across a copy of my Patriarchal Blessing that I received just before I turned 16....17 years ago (almost to the day). I've read it several times since then, and so much of it didn't make sense. But reading it today brought light to my circumstance. I felt the spirit so strong reading it today. It makes much more sense now than it did before. I stand all amazed at the knowledge the Lord gives me, and the knowledge and power He has in all of our lives. He sees ALL things before we see them ourselves.

It mentions that I will appreciate my heritage. When I was 16 I didn't understand what that meant. (Honestly, I thought family history was a bit boring.) Now, I do....well, better at least. I learned a couple of years ago that I am a granddaughter of Isaac Morley. The same Isaac Morley who was dear friends with the Prophet Joseph, and is mentioned in the Doctrine and Covenants, and founded Manti, Utah. When I learned that I was his 5th great granddaughter my heart swelled with appreciation! I felt like he was a great man! I couldn't believe that I didn't know before that some of his blood runs through MY veins. I named my 4th after him....Aiden Isaac, and I feel strongly that my sweet baby will grow up to do marvelous things like his grandfather. Family History is truly an amazing thing! (not boring, after all)

It also mentions that through the power of the Holy Ghost I will know when evil confronts me and be able to thrust it from me and be one who never indulges in the things which are not right. Through my experience over the last few months I have seen this first hand. And because I chose to stay true to my covenants and follow the promptings I received along my path, it has strengthened me and I have felt a true change of heart. I see things in a whole new light and I'm able to recognize Satan's evil influence in others (even me, for no one is perfect). It's been quite remarkable. It has taught me how to trust in God and apply the atonement in my life. Wow! It is so REAL! I feel it in my bones. The love of God is REAL!

Those are just a couple of things I thought I wanted to share. The Lord does have a work for us and He is always mindful of us. All we need to do is turn our focus to Him and learn to follow that still small voice. The works of God are plain and simple truths, and can easily be misunderstood if we are distracted. Listen to the still small voice, listen....listen....:)

A new life with a new start!

2011-07-28T13:19:00.001-07:00

Hello, beautiful city of Bountiful! I'm here to stay!

Busy unpacking....job hunting and enjoying the start of a new life. The ward is already amazing! They all pitched in to help with unloading all my stuff (or crap, I sometimes call it) and even set up my beds and computer desk for me! I've spent the last 2 days resting. I've been working so hard making the move happen, it's exhausting! Oh, I can't thank all my friends enough. Those that helped me pack and load the truck. I would have never been able to do it by myself! My dear, sweet dad drove the big honkin' truck to SLC for me! Phew! And we made it safe and sound. I did, however get to drive the big diesel 24' loader truck from St. George to La Verkin, and it was flippin' awesome!:) I could grow to love trucks, I think. Maybe I'll have to look into getting one someday. Nothing like the power trip of being behind the wheel of a huge truck!:) I could smoosh anyone I wanted to, but decided that that would be a bad idea.:)-

I love all my friends and I will miss you so very much! Keep in touch and stop by if you are ever in Bountiful! Take care, as always! I feel the start of bigger and better things coming my way!:)

It's just me

2011-07-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

Feelin' free to be myself! Do what I like, laugh when I want, cry when I want, eat what I want, watch what I want, say what I want....

The freedom to be oneself is a beautiful thing! Give me the world.....I'll conquer it!:)

Everything has its opposite

2011-07-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

I look back to November of last year and where my mind set was back then. I was pregnant, separated, a single-mom, jobless, stressed, and tired. I was having a hard time being positive. I felt sorry for myself alot. But I was learning that I am in control of how I feel and how I handle things. I can't put the blame on anyone else for how I feel. I am the captain of my own destiny, no one, or no thing, else can make me happy but me. That was in my head, but I still didn't understand HOW I could make myself happy. I didn't feel happy, I tried....but it didn't last.

Then one Sunday, in church, a dear sister gave a talk on finding joy IN our trials, and it made me curious. That same Sunday another dear sister gave a lesson on gratitude and how important it is to find things to be thankful for in our lives....it opened my eyes to something I never saw before. I realized that I did have so much to be thankful for, I simply had to look for it. So that very evening I started a "gratitude journal" and made myself see what I had in my life to be thankful for. Each day I looked for something more and each day my gratitude grew and grew and I really began to see the hand of God in my life. Today, 8 months later, I am sure that that hand has always been there, I was just too blind to see it. Now that my eyes are opened I am constantly amazed at the tender mercies He gives me and the angels He sends to my life at the precise moments I need them.

My mind set has gone from negative to positive and it's all because I changed my perspective. Through this time I have grown to comprehend that EVERYTHING has its opposite, and I can choose to follow what is negative or what is positive (opposites). But it's taken work to understand what IS negative and what IS positive. For example: the opposite of faith is fear.....if you have fear, replace it with faith and you will be happy. More opposites: light-dark, good-bad, fragrant-stinky, happy-sad, beautiful-ugly, soft-hard....faith-fear, humility-pride, remorse-guilt, peace-dread, confidence-shame, confirmation-doubt, admiration-jealousy, understanding-judgment, hope-worry, love-hate....Jesus(is perfectly good)-Satan(is perfectly bad).

One comes from God, the other comes from Satan (his attempt to replicate what comes from God to confuse us, keep us from progressing....bind us.). It all depends on what you choose to listen to, everyday of your life. If you are finding yourself feeling bad and negative, think about where that comes from and who you are listening to. I know, from experience, that it takes baby steps to change our mind set. As long as you are trying everyday to be better....as the months go by you will see a HUGE difference.

My life is so much happier now than it was back in November, all because I chose to take those baby steps and change my mindset and look for the hand of God in my life. I have come a long way, but I think I have so much further to go. That's all a part of life. As long as we are striving to better ourselves each day we are doing awesome! Don't worry, be happy!:)

Actions speak LOUDER than words

2011-07-13T14:39:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard that saying?....actions speak louder than words.....I learned something today. That is more than just a saying, I'm dead serious! How can you tell someone really loves you? They can tell you all they want, but until they show it with some action it doesn't mean as much. What is our own personal capacity to love? I've been asking myself that question for several months now. Lots of people SHOW love in many different ways. What way works for you?

I think that I personally need to work on this. I need to start showing love more in many different ways. I believe that will increase my capacity to love.

As I have been working to heal myself (my heart) I've discovered a wonderful feeling. I had an experience last week, I said sorry for a misjudgment I had for someone else, and my heart was peaceful and it literally felt like it was being stitched up in a way that made it stronger. It was an awesome feeling! Like the hole was closing up. As a result, I've noticed I no longer care what people say to me to try to hurt me. It doesn't phase me. My ability to love myself has increased! Wow! Now, that I have discovered the word part, I think I'll be working on actions. If I can heal my heart to the point where the actions of someone else doesn't harm my heart (and I'm getting there.....refer to unmet expectations).....I will be so much stronger! What a concept!:)

How strong is our capacity to love and feel love? The stronger our heart is the easier it becomes to have things bounce off you, or not stick. It's like that story....."You Are Special" by Max Lucado. You know, the one with the wimicks.....they stick stickers on each other (dots-bad, stars-good). But there is one wimick whose stickers don't stick. They just fall off of her. She doesn't let them stick. How does she do that? She visits the "woodmaker" every day. I get it!:) Heavenly Father loves us all so very much! The more we turn our life over to Him the more we feel love and the more we are able to give love. And all the actions and words of another that can cause harm don't phase us.

Actions speak louder than words! It's so literally true!! My next project: to show love more.:)

Many are called but few are chosen...

2011-07-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

I (and if you can tell just by reading my postings from the last few months) that I am a recovering co-dependent. (Is this like an AA meeting, you might be wondering). No, not particularly....I'm just in the mood to confess some things. I really have learned so much in my experience. Life and relationships can be hard. We all take a chance when we try to make a relationship work. The chance to put our hearts and feelings out there not knowing particularly what will come back at us in return. It's a game of give and take. I have learned a valuable lesson.....that none of us can control what will come back at us. The only thing we can control is how we react to it and how we personally deal with it. We can't expect another person to react how we want them to. For all people are different and that IS a splendid thing.

I can get married again, and if I do then I am taking that chance that divorce could happen again. It all depends on how willing BOTH parties are to make it work, and seeing I can only control myself I just have to have faith that my future husband will make it work for him. That is out of my control. That's why faith is important. Knowing what we can control and what we can't takes a great amount of wisdom, and it is an important key to happiness. We all need to feel like we are in control, but knowing what we can control and what we have to let go of, makes the difference.

It isn't right for someone to exercise authority they don't have over someone else. How many of us really understand that? I'm trying to understand that. Even as parents we have limited control over our children until they are 18. And the control (or authority, rather) we have is really to teach them how to learn from the results of their actions and to protect them where they can't protect themselves. Any other control we try to have is not right. For everyone has the right to think and act for themselves......how many of us actually get that? I'm learning to get that.....and by doing so I am more fully recovered from my co-dependency day by day. It's a great feeling!:)

In Doctrine and Covenants there is a scripture that confirms this very point. If you have a minute, look it up and see what you discover. Maybe you see the same things I do in the scripture and maybe you don't, and that's all okay.:) Does that mean that I'm right and you're wrong?.....not necessarily, just that we see things differently. That's the beauty of it.:)

D&C 121:34-46 "learn ONE lesson"

My essay on my view of America

2011-07-04T11:07:00.001-07:00

I wrote this essay primarily for a job application. But I wanted to share it with my friends. Happy Independence Day!

America: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

America is known as the land of opportunity. A land where people strive to make a fulfilling life for themselves. A life free from tyranny, persecution, racism and communism. It is a place many individuals see as a gateway to happiness and the freedom to be who they want to be. But is America really all that? What has molded this country into what it is today? How can we be certain that America will continue to be the land of opportunity for everyone, regardless of age, color, race, religion, or culture?

My thoughts go back to 1776 when the founding fathers worked hard and fought for change. Many men gave their lives for the idea of a free land. “In God we trust,” became the motto. Surely our founding fathers believed that the power of God was in the formation of this country.

Years, decades, centuries later I see America as a prosperous land, that has definitely been through growing pains. From the Civil War in 1861 to the Great Depression in the 1930's. What pulled us through those times were strong, righteous leaders; Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt. Ronald Regan led the country in the 1980s. When I think of America in the time of the '80s, Niel Diamond's song comes to mind. “They're Comin' to America. Today!” That was a day when immigration was encouraged. “An American Tail,” a story of Fival the mouse having a dream of coming to a free land, I remember from my childhood. The Regan Era proved to be a time when America wanted to reach out to the world and share what it has.

Then two decades later a day came that we are all familiar with. September 11, 2001 brought a massive terrorist attack that killed thousands of innocent people. That terrible day was a turning point in our nation's history. It caused every American to realize that not everyone in the world loves this country. In fact there are bands of men who hate Americans so much they are willing to give their lives to kill freedom-loving people.

Freedom does not come without a price, unfortunately. I am proud to be an American and I am grateful for the valiant men who gave their lives, and are still giving their lives, that I may be free. Free to act and think and be what I choose to be. I have the freedom to be who I am, and as long as I don't harm others, I have the freedom to do what I please. What a rare commodity in a world full of bigotry and hatred!

How do we continue the quest for freedom? How can we ascertain the freedom all the world deserves and good people desire? Simply by teaching principles of hard work and generosity to whomever we can. Teach young ones what we know by example and faith. That they may be instilled with the same kind of passion and understanding that good-blooded Americans share. That power may remain with the people, our trust continue to be with God, and that all may reap from the blessings of a free society. Let freedom ring in our hearts, that it may continue to pass down through the generations forever more!

My first date.....since the divorce, anyway.....

2011-07-01T23:01:00.000-07:00

I just got home from a very nice evening. A friend from my work invited me over and set me up with her brother-in-law. He was very nice, and they have a wonderful, beautiful home. I honestly have never seen a home like that before. It was amazing! Words really can't describe it. They have a gorgeous library.....in a circular room, with stairs leading up to it. (My words don't give it credit.) The back yard was breathtaking! A huge panoramic view of all the different bluffs around Virgin. Absolutely gorgeous at night with the stars!

They were very accommodating! I took Elizabeth with me and she had a great time. There were kids to play with, a pool to swim in, good food to eat and good company. They really made us feel like home. I didn't quite feel any sparks for my date, but we had good conversation and great company. I love meeting new people and making new friends. Especially kind and loving friends who just accept you for who you are with no question, or judgment. Liz had a great time! She needed that so much! She even got to play with kitties.....her forte!:)

Friends make all the difference....and I have been blessed with an abundance through my experience. I thank my Heavenly Father, yet again, for the angels in my life! If I know you, count yourself loved!:) And still, even if I don't know you, know you are loved.....love is a simple yet profound thing. It reaches all the way to eternity, and yet fills each of our own individual hearts. Thank you one and all for being my friend!:) Over and out!

My sweet, innocent Elizabeth!

2011-06-27T22:08:00.000-07:00

I've been so good to be so strong for so long. Tonight was different. It really has been so hard! I can muster up strength for myself, but when it comes to my children....what do I do? My poor children! I'm so worried about them! Perhaps there is a different kind of pain that isn't categorized as an "unmet expectation." It's the pain of not knowing what to do, and feeling powerless to help my child. (but it is more like a sorrow than a pain....) I tried to hold my daughter, she is only 9, and she wouldn't hold me back. *weeping tears*:( She's bottled up so much frustration and pain and fears, it's caused so much anxiety. These last few months I've only had the energy to deal with my problems, that her's have been shoved aside (not intentionally) I just haven't had the strength or knowledge of what to do for her....

Tonight I just broke down! My little girl.....has had to deal with so much!! Only a year ago, last summer, she was so happy and involved....back when things were normal. Then came the fall (Oct) when it all changed. Our world turned upside-down. Daddy moved out (was forced more like it), lots of horrible fighting happened right in front of her, (not that I wanted it to happen that way, but what could I do? He doesn't listen.) The baby comes, Mommy's always tired and stressed, Daddy gets remarried without even caring that she's there, and then she's expected to just go with the flow of every other weekend at a strange house and Daddy's with a strange woman. What could be going on in her head? Too many changes! And somehow she's just expected to live with it! It's been so hard on my little 9-year-old girl. And I am beside myself to know what to do for her. I've been praying, and crying....and crying....and hoping that she will find a way to let it all out.

We prayed together (her idea):)....I'm sure that will help. There is power in prayer. Tonight I felt a different kind of pain. The kind that can only go away with alot of prayer and hope that somehow, someway it'll get better....my attention will be focused in her direction.

Moments That Matter Most

2011-06-26T09:56:00.001-07:00

A beautiful message, a beautiful video! Just what I need to hear today! (Be sure to pause my playlist so it isn't a distraction:))

Unmet expectations

2011-06-21T19:26:00.000-07:00

I work at a youth correctional facility as a math tutor. I really quite enjoy it. The pay is good, the hours are flexible, I get to work with youth (I love that), and I get to solve math problems (I love that too). I really couldn't ask for a better job right now.

Working with troubled teens has opened my eyes in a whole new way. I've been learning a little bit about the program that's at work there.....Positive Peer Culture. It has given me the extra boost I need as I work on myself to fix my own problems, and I have been able to do it with very little formal counseling. It really has been amazing how the Lord has led me down this path as I work to fix my problems and change myself to become a better and stronger person.

Yesterday at work I experienced something that confirmed a theory I've been trying to understand. I sat down with a girl who needed extra help to get her math work done for the term. It was something she really dreaded (she felt very overwhelmed and defeated). She just stared at that open book with all those problems to do and just broke down crying. I could tell math was the last thing she wanted to do, but she felt she had to do it. She expressed to me that she was letting down her mom by not getting her math done. I simply said "I can tell you are overwhelmed. Just slow down, take a deep breath. I'll be here tomorrow and we can try it again then." She said okay and left to calm herself down.

Today was a new day. I sat down with her again (she wasn't crying this time, but she wasn't exactly thrilled to do math, either). So we took it one problem at a time, and one step at a time. I encouraged her the whole way. "It's kinda like running a marathon," I told her, "the end seems so far away, but as long as we keep moving problem by problem it will get done eventually." "Look, you only have 9 problems left. That's less than 10!" I was just as positive as I could be with her to encourage her along her quest. I was like that fan on the side of the road cheering on the marathon runner up to the finish line.

It took a couple of hours and focus direction to get to the end, but what transpired was amazing! She went from being drug down, defeated, to the point of tears over math....to ecstatic and uplifted with a huge smile on her face. All because she did it! She accomplished something very hard for her to do. What a spirit booster accomplishment can be! She was on cloud nine for the rest of the school day, and actually said to me that was the best feeling she has felt in the last 3 days. WOW! That was a job well done, I must say! I love being able to help people through difficult times.

So, I was getting to a point.......I realized through my experience with divorce and broken relationships (and that experience today) that all the emotional pain we feel simply comes from unmet expectations. Whether it's an expectation we put on others, or an expectation we put on ourselves. This teenager I helped today was feeling emotional pain over her math assignment because she felt she was not meeting her mother's expectations. Kinda sad, really. It makes me wonder why we try to make our children feel like they can never measure up to our expectations. Can we just understand that we are all human and as long as we do our best everyday, that is all we need to do? All the emotional pain I felt from my divorce came as a result of something happening that I did not at all expect. (What, my husband of 10 years couldn't wait until the divorce was final before pursing another woman?) That's when all the pain came rushing to me. And all the horrible things that Satan put in my head to weigh me down (negative thoughts and emotions) I had to fight with all my might to push out and let go.

I know, from experience, that if we can recognize that the negative thoughts and emotions come from Satan and put the blame on him instead of on someone else, it totally sets us free! Free from grudges, from sorrow, from guilt, from shame. Free from the weight of not measuring up. And free to feel the love of our Heavenly Father (that's what He wants us to feel). What a weight to carry! I no longer feel that weight in my backpack (from John Bytheway, if you know what I mean)! For the first time in my life I don't have that weight on my shoulders. I know I am loved by a perfect Heavenly Father. I also know I'm not perfect. But I try to do my best and I feel His love for me, and it makes me love myself with a pure love. I try not to listen to Satan and his minions and I try not to set expectations that can't be met. Because when they are not met Satan has me.

I am so happy! I am free! It's really all about unmet expectations and the blame we try to put on others and ourselves. How simple is that?

Relationships

2011-06-19T14:53:00.001-07:00

My mind is heavy lately with the drama of relationships. I feel a little like a deer in headlights. I want to find true love, but I'm really gun-shy and scared that I'll get hurt again. Do I dare put myself and my heart out there again? I'm traumatized with the idea of letting down my boundaries. Perhaps I need more time to find myself and settle with my new life-style. Perhaps.....but how long will that take?

I've been thinking this afternoon......in an attempt to get over a couple of bad relationships.....that I should find some good things that came as a result of them. My 10-year-marriage just ended a couple of months ago and I had a wee baby during the dramatic moments of the breakup. It was rough! How did I ever make it through? (I credit my friends who have been such an emotional support to me, and the Lord who gave me strength). But I am willing to look back at those 10 years and realize that I have been blessed with 4 beautiful children! I am amazed at them! I know they will become wonderful adults who will do wonderful things! And I can also see some good experiences I had with my ex. Those experiences shaped me into who I am today. Although, the time came for me to move on and get out of a controlling relationship, it has made me the strong and faithful woman I am today. And I'm grateful for that.

This sudden breakup I had recently was painful too. But he got me through the hardest part of my divorce (meeting my ex's wife) and he helped me laugh again and brought joy to my heart. And he gave me the idea of the possibility of moving. Which I am holding on to. It will probably be a good thing to get out, away from it all.....all the memories......all the surroundings......and begin my new life. So, I'm grateful for that!

Relationships are never all bad. Sometimes they break your heart, but mostly they help you learn and shape you into who you are.

Only an Angel

2011-05-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

I feel a bit like my life has become a soap opera as of late. So many changes in so little time. It's been hard to cope and hard to not worry about how everything will play out, but somehow it's getting better. I do feel today like there might be light at the end of this tunnel. That by the grace of God we will all be okay.

I was sent an angel today in church. I sat a little longer in the chapel after the meeting than I normally do. She saw me and sat right next to me and asked me how I was. We had a good talk. She knew what it was like to go through divorce, she had been through two herself. And now she has been with her awaited companion for 21 years. She taught me some things I don't know if I would have learned anywhere else. She is a strong and faithful woman with a sweet spirit. It is truly amazing how we can help others when we have been through the fire of trials and hardships.

She taught me some techniques of how to make my huge problems seem small enough to handle and how to feel the love of God for me. And even how I can make myself see the perspective of others that may be causing my problems. Today for the first time in a long time I feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. I can face what I have been dreading to face and that I can do it with grace. I thank my Heavenly Father for the angels in my life. He is mindful of my hardships, and He is mindful of yours too! Just look for those tender mercies! They are always there!

Nothing like the healing power of the Spirit!

2011-05-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

Today is a good day! Sundays are my solace! I was released as the 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society. The Lord said it was time to be released, I have alot on my plate right now. I got to teach the 4th Sunday Lesson today and I had a wondrous experience with it. It was from the conference talk given by Elder Oaks last October, "Two Lines of Communication." I learned so much of what it means to use the personal line to communicate with Heavenly Father and also the priesthood line. They are intermingled and we can't have one without the other. Wish you all could have been there. The Lord has taught me so much going through this rough trial in my life and because I looked to Him every step of the way, He has pulled me though. For the first time in my life I have REALLY felt the grace of God in my life. It has been a strength to me, and I feel like a whole new person. I've had a change of heart and I feel so much stronger as an individual and a daughter of God because of it.

One thing that is important to remember is that no one can have personal revelation for you, but you. The priesthood is there to help you find solutions to your problems, but it is up to you to decide what to do. No one else can make that choice for you but you! The priesthood is there to help and support those that are troubled, to HELP them find answers and solutions to personal problems. And it is up to us individually to decipher what we need to do. (and I should add that if your personal decisions are not in harmony with what the priesthood counsels or with the commandments then you are going down the wrong path).

Life is a journey.....a progression......ever bettering ourselves, until we reach the glory of the Celestial Kingdom. The Lord loves all of us and grants to us what we desire, and as we progress and turn our will over to Him and what He knows will bring us happiness, we will discover an everlasting happiness and live with Him again. It can be very hard and painful to change our hearts and turn our will over to Him, but I testify that it is possible. Just as the pioneers crossed the plains, step by painful step, to find solace and peace in the Salt Lake Valley, so can we also find eternal life, step by painful step, towards spiritual progression. And we take each step with faith that the Lord will take care of us IN our trials. I testify that He always will take care of us as long as we look to Him. There we will find peace, solace, forgiveness, and mercy.

What the???

2011-05-19T22:21:00.000-07:00

Fair warning.....this isn't exactly a cheery post. Read at your own discretion.

I'm feeling a little sad today. Divorce is like experiencing a death, but there is also the rejection factor of it that sucks. I keep going through the grief stages, and I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be completely over it. Having a baby through the thick of it didn't help matters either. I don't mean this to be a pity party for me. Many people go through divorces, I just get to be one of the lucky ones to have actually experienced it.

My ex, who has only been my ex for 5 weeks, is going to be married to some girl he met online. The wedding is taking place in 2 weeks (and it very possibly could be sooner than that for all I know). It's alot of sudden changes for me and my kids to have to handle. And to top it off they will be living in Hurricane with her 3 kids. Ahhhhhhhh! (scream of utter frustration and bewilderment and anything else you could think of.) What the CRAP! Did I sign up for this? I think I'd like to switch problems with somebody! Any takers??

Somehow, by miracle I am not going insane quite yet. Although I want to pack up all my stuff and move to timbucktwo. Actually, I really wish he would. But does he ever listen to ME? Hardly. I've had to set some strict boundaries for myself and hope that the marriage will be over before I have to actually meet her or talk to her. It's more than I can take at the moment. But, I'm trying to just take it a step at a time day by day and pray that we will all be okay in the end. I'm hanging in there. I'm a little weary of the future at the moment. I know if I handle it with patience and long-suffering the Lord will bless me and I will be alright. Who knows what life will throw at you, honestly?

A self-discovery

2011-05-15T16:55:00.000-07:00

So, I had some things to discover this week about myself. I got my feet wet a little in the single pool. I found out that I'm not quite ready for that yet. I got asked out 4 times in 2 weeks and all from men I have NO interest in. But I needed to get my feet wet to discover what would happen and how I would react to it. I need to be careful how I present myself so I can attract the man I want, and say "no" if I feel uncomfortable with anything. And I'm going to step back for a while. I'm not ready to date and putting myself in a "single's" environment sends the signal "hey, date me!!" I still have a broken heart I'm working to get over, and I can't rush into anything....that would be absolutely foolish! Divorce is VERY hard! I do not want to go through that again. So, I am being very cautious of the relationships I allow myself to get into. It'll take time, and I'm just fine with that. My kids are my life right now and I love them so much! And they need my attention. But that doesn't exactly mean I won't be on the look out in the meantime.:)

Life goes on........

2011-05-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

Life is looking up for me! It's been such a rough few months....I honestly thought I'd never make it through, emotionally that is. I definitely have the best friends in the world! I am so blessed to have so many good people around me who care.:) And I have been blessed with everything I asked for. I really have Kevin to thank for that. He made the legal part of the divorce very easy.

We blessed baby Aiden in our home last weekend. He is so precious and innocent! He is starting to fill out and has little roles on his legs. I LOVE that. He is happy as long as he is held and has a full tummy. He eats alot! He's going to be a big dude!:)

I'm starting to get a bit used to this single thing.....step by step. I was at the tire shop today and the guy who was helping me was very nice and cute. He's probably married....but it was fun to have a conversation with him and feel confident without feeling guilty for thinking he was cute. I'll get the hang of this dating thing, I think.:) I'm easing into it slowly. I'm looking forward to meeting new friends and being free to be myself. Life is good, the Lord is great, and I have so much to be thankful for!

Single again......never thought I'd be here.

2011-04-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

I'm single again.....oh dear! So, I just got back from an interesting night. I went out with a couple of friends to go check out the mid-singles dance in St. George. I had a fun time with my friends. We drove around, did a bit of shopping, got a snack before heading to the dance.......I had a blast dancing. I haven't danced like that in a very long time. It did feel a bit like high school, but without so much nerves. And I realized that I am NOT ready to date at all. There was this guy, we'll call him Joe, okay so his name really was Joe. I'm just too nice.....I need to practice saying "no." He wouldn't leave my side all night. He thought I was cute. Joe was a nice guy who drives his mom's car, has 4 kids he never sees, and has applied to McDonalds and every where else and is still jobless. Yea, a real winner.:) I know how to snag 'em.:) Poor Joe.....he's not for me.

I had fun with my friends. But I'm gonna need some time to think and decide how to go about dating again. I'm not quite ready for it. Meeting people and having fun as friends is a good place to start, I think. Any pointers would be nice.:)

It's done and FINAL!

2011-04-17T16:02:00.001-07:00

Alright....now that I've cleared my head a little I feel like I have some explaining to do. For those of you who saw that last post I fear that it may have been a little frightening to hear. It was a little frightening for myself, which is why I took it off. Forgiveness is a VERY personal thing and I may have gotten a little too personal on my blog. But I needed to paint a clear picture (for someone in particular) of how hard it was for me to find that forgiveness, because of the choices he made. I am so grateful to my Savior that I was able to find it or I'd be a basket case right now. I have found peace in my heart and I'm able to see my ex as Christ sees him....as a good person who made some dumb mistakes. My forgiveness is for me and no one else. It was hard to find, but I found it.

Some ugly things transpired between me and my husband through this divorce process. It's been very hard for me to see someone I loved dearly make stupid choices. Maybe he is beginning to see that I am not responsible for HIS choices. I am the captain of my own destiny! And he is accountable for what he does. And I am relieved that it is now officially final. As of Friday the 15th of April it is FINAL! I want him to know that I pray for him everyday. He has a personal journey ahead and I hope he can find the same peace in his heart for himself. It is all coming together now why I felt so strongly from the spirit to take the course that I did. My heart desires an eternal love, and my husband's desires were something else entirely. I am worthy of that love and I hope I will find it. The lord will guide me, I am certain. If it is supposed to be with my (now) ex husband, it will take ALOT of time and work on his part for that to happen. Although my forgiveness is there my trust is not. But if I find it somewhere else the Lord will let me know.

Thank you to all my friends who have been such a strength and support to me! It took all the strength and courage I could muster to get to where I am right now. I love my friends dearly! And I thank you for your prayers as well!

Our baby.....Aiden!

2011-03-24T21:34:00.000-07:00

The cutest baby in the world.

I know most of you will beg to differ as many of you have cute babies of your own. So, I will say "the cutest baby born on March 17th 2011." How is that? Although, in my book he is still the cutest baby in the world. ....What was that?....I'm biased? Oh no, not at all.

Little Eli refers to him as "Da Baby." And is now beginning to feel some competition for mom's attention. I don't think he is too thrilled about that. But he is always watching out for him and ready to give Aiden his "passie" as soon as he starts crying. He is a good little helper.

Kyler is amazed that this baby came out of my tummy. His teacher had a baby just before Thanksgiving and he thought it was cool that his mom did the same thing. He loves baby Aiden and was very gentle with him last night when he helped me put on his cute little jammies before bed.

Elizabeth has been a very good little "mom." She was dying to hold him the minute she saw him. She's been there to dress him and she's even fed him a few times.....and burped him, I might add. She doesn't, however, have any desire to change his diaper.....I wonder why? It's great to have my 9-year-old (almost 10) around to help out. I don't know what I'd do without her.
We all love little baby Aiden so very much! It is already hard to imagine our lives were ever without him. He completes our family. What a blessing he is!! I love my children so much. I am amazed at the wonderful people they are growing up to be.

Thank you for joining our family, baby Aiden. Don't grow up too fast, or I might have to spank you.:) You are sweet and cute and precious and all the wonderful things babies are!

It was a very happy St. Patty's Day!

2011-03-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

He is finally here!:) Aiden Isaac was born March 17th, 2011 @ 10:01 am. He surprised his mom and everyone else in the room when he weighed in at 9lbs 9oz. The doctor said "we better call up the Green Bay Packers.":) He was my biggest baby by 3 oz, but the delivery went very well regardless. I think it's due to all those contractions I was feeling for weeks on end.

It was so worth it all. We are so happy to have him here. Everyone loves him to pieces. He is the cutest and sweetest baby in the world.

Welcome to the world, Baby Aiden!!

Hold the phone

2011-03-09T12:37:00.000-08:00

Alright, apparently I jumped the gun...and I have some news to tell that I'm kinda embarrassed about. But what do you do? My kids are just bound to be stubborn even before they are born, I think.

I'm not going to be induced tomorrow after all. *cue pitiful violin music* This darn kid hasn't moved into position and his head is still too far up and back to induce me without a major risk of going in for an emergency c-section. Ugh! However, my doctor did strip the membranes in hopes that I'll go in on my own before the 21st, which is now my induction date. My hopes of an early delivery are fading away. I am, however dilated to a 3, and if I can judge by the contractions I felt last night I might be even more than that. I can't imagine going 12 days being dilated to a 3+....but there are possibilities for everything, I guess.

So, don't mind me...I'll just be hiding out like a hermit until this baby finally decides to grace us with his presence. He sure isn't going to come when I am ready, only when HE is ready. Ah well, what's 12 more days? I'd much rather wait 12 miserable days then be pushed in to a c-section or in labor for hours and hours because he just won't move down. Which, by the way, I heard from a friend that the full moon isn't until next Friday...so I might be here a while.:) Ugh! So before all of you ask me.....yes, I am STILL pregnant. And no, I'm not bitter about it....:)

The painful beauty of child birth

2011-03-05T08:30:00.000-08:00

Yes!! I'm going to be induced on the 10th! Words can't express how excited I am. This will be the first time I get to know when I'm having my baby and the first time I won't have to see my due date come and go. My doctor had mercy on me, I think.:) That is 9 days before my due date and only 5 days away!!!

My dear friends Angie and Diane threw me a baby shower last week and I was so glad to see so many friends come. Thank you all for the gifts and for being there! Diane made some good food and we all had a good time. It's wonderful to have so many good friends! You all mean the world to me!

Child birth is in a word.....fascinating and at the same time excruciating This will be the 5th time giving birth for me. And I must say, thank goodness for epidurals! My friend Meridy has written about birth and pain. I must say that it is a good point. And I might add that anything of worth in this life doesn't come easy. Somehow, hard work and endurance makes you appreciate what you have more, because what it took to obtain it. Birth is painful, yet I'm about to do it for the 5th time. Why is that? Probably because the pain lasts a short time and as a result I have my beautiful children forever and ever. So, here's to pain and endurance! Wish me luck.:)

Just stay little

2011-02-16T22:04:00.000-08:00

Where DOES the time go? Is it really the middle of February?? Only about 3 more weeks, my friends, 3 more weeks of this miserable, BIG belly of mine.:) Only 3 more weeks and I'll be holding little Aiden (yes, that's his name) in my arms and looking into his eyes for the first time. I wonder what he'll be like. Is he going to be a bit stubborn like his sister, or easy-going like his brother Kyler. If he's more stubborn than Eli, I'm in trouble!! Eli's a real sweetheart when he gets what he wants, but a real bear if he deson't.:)

I found myself lost in thought tonight. Eli had fallen asleep in my arms and I just held him for a long time before finally tucking him into bed. I was relishing in the moment. While I gently stroked his hair and looked at his beautiful closed-eyelashes and felt the rhythm of his sleeping breath.....I couldn't help but wish I could freeze time. Oh, the sweet innocence of youth! Why do they have to grow up? Can't they just stay little forever?

I'm pretty certain that I speak for all mothers (or at least most mothers) , when I say that I wish I could keep him from all the horrible things of the world. Keep him from all the uncertainties, all the pain, and all the fears, and keep him from making bad choices. And just have him stay my little innocent boy forever. Is that really too much to ask for? And THEN the logical part of my brain kicks in and realizes that he may grow to hate me if I try to keep him from the freedom of experiencing his OWN life, and the freedom of making his own choices. We were sent to the earth to grow and progress and learn from our own experience to distinguish the good from the evil. It's what we all chose to do. What....why did that come into my head?:)

Life is like math.....every concept builds on the other, and just when you think you've figured out the hardest problem in the world, an even harder problem rears it's ugly head. I suppose it will always be that way until the day I die.:) I guess that's why prayer is so important. It gives me strength to go on every day....day by day.:) I'm grateful for that.

So, in an attempt to make a point of my blog post....as much as I wish sometimes that my kids were older and could do more things on their own (because being a pregnant mom of a toddler can be physically exhausting), when it all boils down to it, I really just want them to stay little forever. Stay little, Eli, so I won't have to miss those kisses you give me on my cheek everyday, stay little so you can fall asleep in my arms,, stay little so the biggest boo-boo you have can be made all better with a simple kiss, stay little so the only thing you ever have to worry about is what Dora movie to watch next. Just stay little, okay? And listen to your mother!!:)

Just things to talk about

2011-01-09T14:53:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been about a month....I guess I'm overdue for a post. I feel that I rarely have a quiet moment to sit and write. Even now that I sit to try to write I'm hearing Kyler in the background frundled over a fork. &@%#^ It's only a fork, Kyler!:) It's never-ending when you are a single mom with 3 kids. But I wouldn't change it for the world, for I love them all more than life.

My tummy is getting bigger by the hour, I think.:) I had a lady at the check-out stand the other day ask me if I was having twins after I told her I had 2 months left. I looked down at my belly and thought, "am I really that big?" But I always have big babies. That is why I hope, hope, hope that I can be started early this time. My doctor told me that if everything looks good and they have room for me we can go in on March 10th. That's only 8 1/2 weeks away (but who's counting). Otherwise, I will have to suffer through all of Spring Break still pregnant. My doctor is going out of town for the entire vacation and won't be back until my actual due date (19th). And considering that I ALWAYS go late, the chances of me going in labor while she is gone are slim to none. So March 10th is the only "early" date I can hope for. I'm thinking it will be nice to have the baby BEFORE Spring Break, very nice actually. Here's hoping!

We had a very nice Christmas. My kids got so much stuff. We were blessed with lots of clothes (my sisters pitched in and helped us play Santa this year), lots of games and toys too. It's probably the biggest Christmas we've ever had. Liz was very skeptical this year. I can tell she feels torn about believing in Santa and then at the same time noticing little details about the wrapping paper that was used and I wasn't sneaky enough about the hiding places I chose this year either. Oops! She's almost 10, that's about the age when I started wondering too.:) It's so hard to give up that idea, but then you get to a point where you understand it's all a part of the magic of Christmas.

Today was a day for some changes in the ward. We got a new Young Women's Presidency, and our Primary pretty much got uprooted as a result. I'm excited for the change, but I'm sure that the old presidency will be missed greatly. They were wonderful and I loved being able to go with them to Girl's Camp and Youth Conference last year, and it was the best ever! Best of luck to the new presidency! They will be fabulous. I feel bad for our Primary President. She is a good friend of mine and was feeling some major stress this last week, and now I understand why.:) She lost her 2nd Counselor, Music Leader, and two Nursery Leaders. Those are big callings to fill. I'm grateful that the Relief Society remained basically untouched.:)

One last thing, I love the temple! I love that I've had the opportunity to attend it often these last few months. I always want to go back! It's so peaceful and I learn more and more every time I go there. If you haven't gone in a while....get there! You will be grateful you did!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-08T15:31:00.000-08:00

I am on the computer....wanting to write a blog post, but not really knowing what to write about. Well, first thing's first....I didn't get either job I was interviewed for. Honestly, I was a little disappointed, BUT just being called in to interview made my whole week. So I am grateful for that, and my interview-jitters aren't so bad. I'm hopeful that something will work out. There is always tax season, and it may be what is best for me right now....having a baby soon and all. SO, if you need help with your taxes this year be sure to keep me in mind. I have an uncle that has hooked me up with the software I need, and he is there to help me through anything I'm not sure about. He has 25 years of experience filing taxes. So spread the word, will you please?:):) I am your tax woman!

I love this time of year! From the Christmas trees, to the house lights, to all the toy-crazy stores, to the Christmas music on the radio, I LOVE it all. There is something so magical about this season. But looking past all the "hoopla"....all the presents and elves, and reindeer, and even Santa, it's important to remember the wonder of what is REAL! Our Savior, Jesus Christ, the Son of God came to earth as a baby. He is perfect evidence that Heavenly Father loves us. He showed us how to be, how to act, what to do, how to love unconditionally. He suffered all things for us, so we would have a way to escape oppression and death. While Christmas is so exciting, and splendid, and magical, may we always remember the REAL reason to celebrate, and remember that God loves us. We KNOW this because He gave His only son as a ransom for us. That is the BEST Christmas gift anyone could ever ask for.

So, do me a favor....stop, take a second (or two) and tell (or show) someone that you care and squeeze your children a little tighter tonight. God IS love, and Christ IS the way. Merry Christmas! Have a joyful week, month and year!

Gratitude is an attitude

2010-12-02T19:38:00.000-08:00

Okay....so....I had a pretty rough week last week, and it's ironic that it was during the Thanksgiving holiday, when we should be thankful, right? I was feeling very sorry for myself, a self-pity-party that lasted a few days. I found myself thinking negatively, something I've been striving NOT to do. I had applied to job opening after job opening for the last month with absolutely no word from ANYTHING. Seriously it feels like 30 or so jobs I applied for. I was discouraged....I had little hope of finding anything. I thought I'd have to be desperate and start working at McDonalds, and even that would be hard to acquire. The job market is just insane right now. Money is not easy to come by and I have 4 mouths to feed and bodies to clothe.

Then Sunday rolls around and I hear a wonderful lesson on dear President Monson's talk about being grateful, and not to mention that a sister in our ward gave a wonderful talk about how to find gratitude IN our trials, and then just other things that happened that day. It made me realize, I even think that Heavenly Father was practically throwing all this in front of my face to get me to listen. I decided that I was being foolish and selfish. I started a "gratitude journal" that very night, thinking of things that I am grateful for and it has opened my eyes to so many things around me! The Lord loves us so very much and his tender mercies are around us every day. If only we look for them, then they are easy to find!!

The very next day, I'm not kidding, I received a phone call to set up an interview at an insurance office here in Hurricane. That phone call was a HUGE blessing from heaven! It boosted my spirits like you wouldn't believe! I was living on a prayer, and I felt the Lord strengthen me. I haven't interviewed for a job in a long time and I have never been that great at it. But I did my best, I wasn't nervous and I walked away feeling good about how it went. Then yesterday I got an email from The Tax Company in St. George stating that they have had 100 apps in one week for this job and they are setting up interviews for the top 12 candidates....and I was one of them! Now talk about a spirit booster. I've been on cloud nine ever since.:) Just knowing that I'm at least in the top 12 out of 100!! WOW! I am blessed beyond belief. It's hard to imagine now the horrible week I went through just last week. And it was all because of my stinking pity-me attitude.

I have a firm conviction that if one looks for the Lord's hand in their life that He will pour out His blessings upon them! Gratitude IS an attitude! If you ever find yourself caught in a pity party like I was, look for things to be thankful for and write them down. Have faith that the Lord is there and he will practically throw blessings at your feet in return!

So, I had yet another interview today.:) It was in a VERY nice office. Phew! And the staff seems really down-to-earth and fun to work with. Who knows if I'll get the job. It seems like such a stab in the dark with 100 applications for one part-time job. But miracles happen every day.:) And to top it off I have a 2nd interview with the insurance company tomorrow morning. That's 3 interviews in one week, all because I changed my gratitude attitude! I've got some thinking to do.:) And I credit it all to the Lord and his tender mercies!

That is all!) Thanks for listening! Go....write down 5 things you are grateful for TODAY!:) And then look for those blessings!

Touchdowns are for sissies

2010-11-20T07:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had the privilege of taking my sweet little girl to the district competition for the Storytelling Festival. Last week she made 2nd place in her category, which allowed her to advance to the next level of competition. She was so excited! And I was a VERY proud mom!! She told a wonderful version of "The Little Red Hen." Her words were very articulated (which can be a challenge for her, if you've known her). And her movements were exciting! We find out the results on Monday. But either way I am so proud of her! She has a talent to perform and she always surprises me that she never gets nervous. I still to this day get nervous when I have to be in front of a crowd. I'm glad she didn't take after me.:)

Yesterday morning when we were dropping off Kyler at the school before we headed for St. George to the competition, Liz noticed that the marque on the school sign said "Go Tigers!"

She asked bewildered, "Why does it say 'Go Tigers'? Shouldn't it say 'Go Cubs'?"

I chuckled a little, and explained that the high school football team is playing in the state championship game today and the whole community is very excited! We all want to support the Tigers!

She replied "Why?? I hate football! It's so dumb! All they do is score touchdowns....whoopee do, yea I scored a touchdown! *sarcastic tone*!"

I couldn't help but laugh a little. Apparently our daughter doesn't share the football love that her daddy has. Touchdowns do NOT impress this little girl. And as we drove out of town we counted all the businesses that had "Go Tigers" painted on their windows.:) It is so neat to be in a community that supports each other. It's a big bummer that they lost AGAIN! But they had a great season and they played their hearts out! Go Tigers, nonetheless! I still love and support you!:) Go get more touchdowns next year!

Friends and Love

2010-11-01T21:02:00.000-07:00

Just in case you are dying for an update....matters are difficult right now. I so wish I didn't have to go through this, BUT I'm allowing the Lord to lead me. I don't quite understand exactly why I'm being lead in this direction, but I KNOW the Lord knows best and I put my whole trust in Him. Wow, I have never had to do this before, and I have learned so much of what it means to "trust in Him with all thine heart."

After a hard week, I am feeling the blessings this week. It's been a good day, and I know I'm on the right path. My heart swells with love and joy for all the prayers and support I've felt from so many good friends. I'm just overwhelmed! Thank goodness for great friends in my life! I'm blessed with so many of them! And the Lord has been my absolute best friend and my only constant....my rock! I will forever be grateful for his mercy and love!

That's it for now. May God always be with you!

I have to eat my words, and Elizabeth cried. And then something else that's VERY hard to share.

2010-10-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

Well, the good news first (only because it seems fitting that way). We had the ultrasound yesterday and low and behold it's a BOY!! Big shocker!:):) If you know from previous post I boasted that I KNEW it would be a girl, and alas, I have to eat my words. But I'm just great with that. He is precious and I already love him more than words can express! I'm grateful that Heavenly Father is sending him to me! Liz was a bit disappointed. She cried at first. Bless her little heart, she wanted a sister so bad. But I think she's okay and she'll love him to pieces anyway. She still get to be the older one who gets to boss them all around (kinda like the queen, instead of a princess). Which fits her well, because she's always been more of a "queen" type. I love her so much.

She got to dress up early for Halloween. Tonight was a costume party for her Activity Days. She was the cutest little black cat in town. I found some cute ears and tail on ebay, and we used a black leotard she'd had for dance a couple of years ago. (she actually fit into it, blessing!!), and black pants I found at Walmart. She was so excited She is growing up to be a beautiful little lady! I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

Well, here comes the VERY hard part of my week. I contemplated on blogging about this because it's just very very sad. I don't like to share sad news, but my heart is heavy and I need support at this time.

Kevin and I are separating.................I know, it may come as a big shock. You just don't know sometimes. Tonight is my first night with him finally out of the house, and I'm on my own. I'm not going to say specific reasons at this time, just that things have happened. Things that have caused deep, deep wounds and I need time away to heal, if I'm ever going to trust him again. I don't know right now how long we'll be separated.....a few months?.....forever? All I know is that the Lord has shown me many tender mercies over the last several months that have lead me to find my path of healing. (Echo, you following that prompting for me to go to Youth Conference in your place was one of them. I wanted you to know that. I am so grateful that you are so in tune with the spirit!!). I am so grateful for his mercy and love! It rips my heart out!! Life can be so incredibly hard sometimes. Our faith can be tried in so many different ways. And peace can be found if we trust in His redeeming love. I hope and pray that I will have the strength to go on.

For now Kevin is in a motel, which he can't stay for long....it's expensive. So, please if you know of any apartments or even basement apartments that would be affordable and not a bad place to live, please let us know!! And if you know of any job openings for me! Thank you!!

Liz has a new post!

2010-10-11T20:12:00.000-07:00

Liz had a couple of new posts! Please go to her blog and even write a comment or two. You will make a little 9-year-old VERY happy. That's all I have to say! Thank you!:)

The Hunger Games....didn't satisfy it.

2010-10-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

Alright, I finished "The Hunger Games." I've been wanting to read it for a while, but a friend of mine told me that I should wait until the 3rd book was out, and I'm glad I did. This last week Kevin and I got a hold of all three copies and read them. I haven't done much but read them, hence my poor house.:) The first two books were pretty intense, and I had dreams about being in the arena with Katniss. The brutality of it all was intriguing, and it kept me reading. I wanted to see justice served. The Capitol was far too controlling to sustain any kind of redeemable civilization. I thought that they must go down somehow and who better to be stir up the people to rebellion than the main character and heroine, Katniss herself.

The third book fell far short of my expectations. I grew tired of Katniss and wished that she would grow a backbone. After all she went through and saw others go through, you'd think she'd want to take an active role to do SOMETHING, rather than being forced into it. Her roll as the "Mockingjay," should have been less mediaized and more personalized. But I guess such a figure is hard to portray when the character portraying it lacks any real personality. I do have to give her credit for figuring out in the end what was real and what was not, even if it did come across as lucky. Come to think of it, everything that happened for Katniss, from the stunt she pulled in the first arena to the first speech she gave as the Mockingjay was just that, lucky.

The writer built up so many exciting climax possibilities throughout the 3rd book, only to kill it with information phrases to follow. I felt information was just thrown at me here and there and I was confused of where the characters were in a certain situation, or how they got there. The ending of the romance was dull. Who she ended up with just seemed to happen, not that she actually made a conscious choice about it.

All in all, it was an interesting concept that if written better could have been extrodinary. Maybe, I'm just picky, because that's how I felt about Twilight too. Ah well...you can't love them all, I guess.

Want a boat with your lunch? Or perhaps a crane?

2010-09-13T16:49:00.000-07:00

This, my friends, is a story that MUST be documented. I'm afraid my husband and I will be laughing about this one for years to come.:)

We ventured out for a lunch together today at Mongolian BBQ, Eli was with us as our other two kids are in school all day. As you know, MBBQ is mostly operated by Asians. I don't know about you, but whenever we take our kids to the Panda Buffet in Hurricane they pretty much get mauled by the workers, maybe it's cause our kids all have blue eyes, I don't know.:) And our lunch at MBBQ today was no different, in fact I think you could safely say that it was on the brink of crossing my comfort zone....actually, it was way PAST my comfort zone.

Now, we all know Eli is cute, and if my motherly opinion is worth anything in the real world, I would say that he's pretty much the cutest kid in the whole universe. He always makes eye contact with people wherever we go and then shows off his irresistible, dimpled, toothy grin at them, until they all say "Oh, he is SO cute!"

Well, today his charm did him in.:) Before we even had a chance to sit down someone had made him a paper crane.

And I thought, "oh how cute! These people are really sweet."

Then this older Asian lady began to hover around our table, and left him a little paper boat.

"Alright, she thinks he's cute, and that's alright, a little creepy...but what do you do? He IS rather adorable."

Then a young Asian lady comes up and starts talking to him, and before we know it she has taken Eli's chopsticks, picked up food from MY bowl and began feeding him with the chopsticks. Kevin and I just kinda looked at each other baffled-like,

"did she just take food from MY bowl, and feeding MY kid?"

Then she proceeded to make him a paper ball, all the while saying "I make you ball! You like ball? You use chopsticks! You eat your food! You "American" kid!"

...HUH?

"Oh, and I make you airplane too! You like airplane?"

She procedes to throw it a few times to make it fly and land on the table.

So here is little 2-year-old Eli with a paper crane, boat, ball and airplane (that was just thrown at him), chopsticks, a plate of noodles and rice, and a look of terror that someone might actually make him go home with them. Kevin and I just couldn't help ourselves, we just looked at each other and started laughing. And then the older lady comes up and really asks Eli if he would go home with her.

"Silent scream of terror."

Just when we thought we'd make it out with our poor child AND all of his new toys, I got nudged on the shoulder to be given but two more paper cranes for the road and the cashier folds another boat for him to take home as we pay for our food. So, if any of you are interested in some origami pieces, come on over, we have plenty!! And you can all thank Eli for being so charming!:) Or perhaps they do that for all the kids...:) Great food, extra special attention...what more could you ask for?

Cravings

2010-09-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

As I sit here in the quiet afternoon (Liz and Kyler at school, Eli napping) I know I should be studying, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

I went to St. George today and had lunch with Kevin. We had fun! All the women at his work were falling all over Eli like he's cute or something. (and they better, because I sure think he is):). We got pizza at Hungry Howie's *yumm! And went to the park. Eli had fun playing with his daddy on the slide. It was a rare occasion. We never get to go with Daddy to the park for lunch ever! Then on our way home we stopped at the dollar store. I've been craving sweets like none other. So I bought a pack of Laffy Taffy's, Jolly Ranchers, gum, and some gummies for the kids. I chowed the taffies. This is something I NEVER do! I must be pregnant. I would have shot myself if I wasn't. Geesh! Cravings are really strong for me this time around. It's either gotta be salty or it's gotta be sweet and I'm not even yet through my first trimester. What is going to happen to me??:) I apologize beforehand if I have to call any of you to come wheel me out of my house. Geesh!

Ahem....an announcement is in order....

2010-08-12T12:33:00.001-07:00

Farnsworth baby #4 is due to come on March 19, 2011!!!:):)

Yes, here you have it! This is what is in my belly as of today the 12th of August, 2010. It's just a peanut...so small! But it has a heartbeat, a head, and little stubby arms and legs. Isn't life such a miracle?? I had my first doctor's appointment this morning.:):) I am 8 weeks along and the baby is measuring just that. And everything looks fine and healthy. And there is just one, it's been confirmed. If you knew me 3 years ago you knew that I lost a set of twins. I was 22 weeks along when we had the "20-week ultrasound," when we found out that I was carrying twins, and then no heartbeat was found on either one. It came as a big shocker. The whole time we only ever heard one heartbeat and there was no inclination of there being two in there previously. So, just to reassure myself I insisted on an ultrasound for this first-time doctor visit. I'm so relieved and excited and happy!:) Everything appears normal, and we are betting that it is a girl this time. Kevin called it, and he is usually right. I won't argue with him.:) I've been feeling good too. Other than some fatigue and nausea that comes and goes. That is an indicator to me that it is a girl, because with my boys I was constantly sick. So, mark my words, my friends....it will be a girl.:) And even if I have to eat my words later, I won't care. A good and healthy baby, or any baby for that matter, will make us so happy.:):)

Liz wants a baby sister so badly, so for her sake I hope it is.

Life is a beautiful thing! I can't wait to meet our new family member in a few months! I thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me with a wonderful family! I love them all so much! Babies are wonderful and sweet and precious, and they don't stay little for very long! I'm grateful for a Father in Heaven that loves me! With every child I have, my love grows. How much love our Heavenly Father has is more than we can even imagine to comprehend. He has numberless children and he knows all of us because we are His. The creation of life is a marvelous, beautiful, fantastic, glorious, wonderful thing!! I am grateful I can experience it in my life here on earth!

Happy Anniversary!

2010-08-11T10:21:00.000-07:00

10 years ago today I married the man that I love! It was a wonderful, summer day! I wanted to get married in the Salt Lake Temple because it is my favorite! It is full of a rich history of hard work and sacrifice, and the architecture reminds me of an old English castle. That day of the wedding I realized how crazy I was to insist on getting married there. Most of my family had to drive pretty far to get there, and there were 86 weddings there that day. Talk about crowded!!! We were rushing here and rushing there, hoping to get some good pictures before the other people came to take over.

But the most wonderful part of the whole day was kneeling across the alter from my sweetheart husband and my family around me all dressed in white. The spirit there was amazing and I was so happy! That was our moment and I can still remember looking into his big eyes, ready to say "I do." We vowed to be with each other through sickness and health, through the good times and bad. Over these last 10 years I think we've had our share of tough times and times of sickness, but we've also been immensely blessed with great times, with 3 beautiful children, and a beautiful home, and above all else enduring love!

Kevin, I love you so much! Thank you for sticking with me all these years and loving me! Thank you for making me laugh! Thank you for giving me our children, and thank you for watching them while I went to YC last week.:) I love it when your nose crinkles up because you're laughing so hard, and you look VERY nice in those new American Eagle jeans I bought you.:) You are my best friend! Here is to another 10 years!:)

Bullet-point Thursday

2010-08-05T08:43:00.000-07:00

Packing up to go to Youth Conference this morning. (aren't you in Relief Society now? you must be thinking). Yes, I am.....but they needed another leader and I was more than happy to volunteer!:) If it's anything like Girl's Camp was, I wouldn't miss it for the world! It will be awesome!
I watched a feel-good movie last night. My friend Meridy recommended it. She checked it out from the library and urged me to get it after she returned it. It's a Halmark movie (gotta love those)! "The Magic of Ordinary Days." Very, very good! I'll be returning it on Tuesday so feel free to check it out yourself.:) You'll be glad you did.
School starts in 6 days and I think I may just be as excited as the kids are. Liz has been wanting to go back since summer started. She loves school! And Kyler is starting to grasp the fact that he'll have a whole new teacher and a whole new classroom AND will get to eat school lunch. First Grade is a milestone, and I can still remember my experience eating at the cafeteria for the first time. It hardly seems that long ago.
Liz made her very own blog! I'm such a proud mom! Check it out....lizinlizards.blogspot.com......or you can click on the link on my side board. She's already an aspiring writer!:)
In case you were wondering, my house is approximately 134 miles from the Grand Canyon. I only mention this because the road sign, by my house that bares this information is always in a new position every time I pass it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have paid any attention to it. It has been completely turned the opposite way before. Don't ask me why, but it tickles my funny bone. Someone should probably fix that.:) We wouldn't want confused tourists, now would we?

Avoid red flags at all costs, my friends. It's never good news!

2010-07-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

Red Flag #1:
Someone comes up to you (my case, a mere aquaintance on FB), someone you hardly ever talk to (it could even be a total stranger who suddenly wants to become your best friend). And asks you the question...."would you like an opportunity to make more money?"

.....huh? Remind me how I know you again???....

Red Flag #2:
This person can never tell you right then how it all works. You have to set an "appointment" with them at a later time. (Usually at your own house).

Red Flag #3:
When you don't feel good about it and you tell them you aren't interested, you usually get this response..."what, you don't want to make more money?" or "what, you don't want to be able to spend more time with your kids?"

.....Yes, that is exactly right....*sarcastic tone* Who in the world doesn't want those things?.....

Red Flag #4:
When you finally get the message across that you for sure aren't interested he insults your intelligence. By saying something like..."Ya, I was once stupid and thought the same thing. But now I realize where the real potential is. This is the best opportunity you'll find." or rather my recent incident ended in..."okay... your choice... I hated them too but realized the most expensive thing I could own is a closed mind. Not a commodity I choose to afford. Have a good night!"

....Thank you so much, I'm so glad that I decided NOT to do business with you. Have fun working your patootie off to make someone ELSE rich!

The End!

My super hero name is....LADYbug!

2010-07-20T14:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here's my story. I had just finished a 3 1/2 hour shift at the cannery de-pitting apricots. My friend Meridy and I were cleaning the machines, and squeegeeing the water-logged floors, when I looked down and saw a little helpless ladybug crawling in a puddle of water. If it was anything but a ladybug I wouldn't have done what I did. I felt bad for the poor thing. I love ladybugs! So I picked it up and it rested on my pinkie finger for about 2 minutes. At first I thought it was dieing, or already dead. I thought, "poor ladybug. He's not meant to live in this machine-filled room with nothing but puddles of yucky water on the floor." Then it started moving again. And then I thought, "I just saved this little bugs life.":) I went outside (Meridy was like "What are you doing? Crazy girl!"). And let him on his way.

I don't know what possessed me to have such compassion on such a little bug (other bugs I squish without regret). But ladybugs are cute and for some reason I felt sorry for the poor thing stuck in the puddles of a workshop. I saved a little ladybug that day. Does that make me a super hero? No, not really.:) But it made me feel good about myself. Because in the words of Horton the Elephant, "a person's a person, no matter how small!" Unless, of course you happen to be an ugly spider....then it's different.

I'm just as surprised as you are.

2010-07-18T17:25:00.000-07:00

Today has been an awesome day! Not only is it Sunday, our Lord's holy sabbath day, but it is also a day of many changes in our ward. Well, it really all started last week when our bishopric surprised us with a new primary presidency. I'm excited for them! I think some of the most awesome women are in that group! They will be amazing AND, truthfully I was a little relieved that it wasn't me. I was in the groove with my awesome primary class, plus I was feeling the excitement of starting up Activity Days. I was thrilled to be working with the cute 8 and 9-year-old girls. I had some fun things planned for the rest of the year with them. I was in a good place.:)

Then, dun-dun-dun....I got THE call. That call that makes you wonder what could possibly be going on and how is it going to effect my life for the next several months, or perhaps years.... I stepped into the bishop's office, and he asked me the question....will you be the 2nd councilor for our new Relief Society President? -Huh?.....-Me?....Are you sure you have the right person? (I thought):) But of course I said, I'd love to!!:) Phew!! I'm about to embark on a venture that I never have before. I truly feel inadequate. There are so many women more "qualified" for this job. BUT I am so excited! I have a lot to learn, and I think the Lord knows this and he's given me an opportunity for that reason. I have many weaknesses I need to overcome, but I will do my best to serve. I love the 4th Ward women with all my heart! I am looking forward to some great times (and even some hard times) ahead. This will be amazing!:)

Oh and a side-note...the Young Men's and Elder's Quorum changed too today. This is going to be fun!:) I'm very excited for what the future holds for our little ward. Change is good, but hard sometimes too. My gratitude goes out to those awesome presidencies that were just released! We have some hard shoes to fill. Much love and luck to you!

The Dentist....need I say more!

2010-07-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

Alright, alright....I will say more. It was that time again. The dentist office called me (it's a good thing they are on the ball, because I'm just not) and said it was time for our annual check-up. I reluctantly agreed knowing that it had to happen. I did not enjoy the dentist one bit as a kid and I'm certain that my own children feel the same exact way. What is it anyway? Is it the sound of the drill? Is it the smell of grinding teeth mixed with rinsing water? Is it the nasty taste of fluoride treatments? Or maybe the utter sense of anxiety about keeping my mouth WIDE open for 20 straight minutes..... Oh, I don't know.....it just isn't pleasant. So dentist day, my friends, is (as you can see) NOT my favorite day.

That is why when I woke up on Wednesday the 30th and told my son Kyler that we were going to the dentist I was surprised to hear him utter the words...."Yea, the dentist! I like the dentist!" What?!@#$%@! What did you just say???? (I was thinking), but of course I said "oh great, Kyler! That makes me so happy." Who would have thought? He must remember from last time of the toys and sunglasses he wore while they cleaned his teeth, and the movie they played for him in the background. AND he must have forgotten the fact that two of his teeth had to get caps (but that could be because he was put under for that). Now come to think of it, after what he went through last year he should be saying he hates the dentist. What is going on?? Ah well, I'd better not be complaining here! Excitement is good! It makes things easier for a mother.

Later that day I found out that Kevin had talked to him before setting off to work about the dentist visit he was going to have that day and got him all excited! Wow, what an awesome dad! Thank you, Kevin! It really shows how much Kyler looks up to his daddy. With just a few words he made a potentially difficult situation into bliss! It doesn't work that way for me very often. So, Snookums, I hope you realize your power of influence with our boys! I think it is so awesome that they look up to you so much!:) Thanks for being an awesome daddy!

Oh, and the dentist visit went well. Lots of loose teeth....the tooth fairy better be saving up. I knew you were just dying to know that.:)

Happy Birthday, Kyler

2010-06-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

Geesh, it's been two weeks and I haven't posted about my darling boy's 6th birthday!

Kyler, Happy Birthday! I can't believe how fast you are growing. 6 years ago you came into our lives such a tiny baby. You have always been so gentle and patient and eager to please. You are so smart and loving! Your little brother looks up to you so much. I love you so much! And to top it off you look so dashingly handsome in your Sunday suit. So much so that you could be an inspiring GQ model, if you wanted to. But you will always be my little boy! I love you, Kyler! Happy 6th Birthday!

I love you so much that I was so excited to make you this Mario birthday cake (with some credit to Echo for sending me the link to the directions). I was so proud when you told me that it was "perfect!" (even if he does look more Mexican than Italian). You were so excited for your Mario birthday party! The mushrooms turned out cute too. I was so happy to do that for you, because you are my sunshine boy and I love making you happy!

It gets even better

2010-06-15T15:27:00.000-07:00

Okay....remember yesterday's post? Well, I have more and it gets better. (if you haven't read yesterday's post yet....scroll down and do so before going on...you'll be glad you did). But first I will give you some background. Observe...

Yes, friends! That is me on the awesome zip-line! So fun! A bit scary too, but not bad. Trust me, more fun than scary!:) notice how there is a harness around me and the harness is hooked to the metal bar I'm holding on to...so if I let go, I can't fall....(is that really how my hair looks from the back??)

Bishop Stackhouse, what a trooper! Manning the operation so we can do this fun thing. Thanks, Bishop for all you do!!

A picture just as I'm setting off to go. Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Alright, so you see how the zip-line is there and we all are having a blast with it. It was there all week with the stake, and since our stake camp ended on Friday they gave each ward the option to stay through til Saturday if we wanted to have some extra ward time. We were all for the ward-bonding (in fact, I have never been to a ward girl's camp before, and I absolutely loved that part of the week! There was no rushing to be here and there, we could just enjoy our time together.) Anyway, we were allowed to use the zip-line for just our ward as long as we had people to man it. Summer, Daniella, and I went first because we hadn't had the chance all week. We made it fine...some details of the hooking-up could have been made more secure, but it's all good.:) Next came the YCLs. (remember from my last post about the 16-year-old who is incredibly strong?)...
Well......
She was the first to go from that group....something happened (they were waiting a while for the signal to go) they were distracted and forgot to hook her harness to the metal pole. Just as she let off Bishop was just sick with worry, because at that moment he realized that they forgot to hook her up.....

She was dangling and had to hold on to that rod for dear life!!

I can only imagine what was going on in his (not to mention her) head. I was at the bottom and didn't realize what was happening until I saw her drop (don't worry, she didn't drop until she was close enough to the ground). I was speechless and in shock!! I still can't talk about it without tearing-up. I talked about her being an inspiration to me of her strength. Well, I wasn't exaggerating!! I keep imagining myself and what would happen to me in that situation. Would I have the strength to hold on? It's not a short zip-line. There were rocks and trees below. The more I think about it how ironic it becomes. Because just the night before we had our awesome "hold to the rod" experience, and then there she was literally holding on to that rod for dear life. She could NOT let go!! I don't quite understand how it happened that way. But I tell you, it's not an experience I will forget.
The thing is, she was shook up, but none of us could tell that. She wanted to go again....why?? Maybe to conquer the fear....maybe to reassure Bishop that she was okay and that she does trust him....maybe other things. But what I know is that if it had happened to me I don't think I'd be strong enough, and I don't think any other girl would have reacted in the same way. It would have been traumatizing.
It all turned out okay, and all the girls got to go down the line that day. After her experience hooks were checked and double-checked, and everything was fine. But the impact of that incident will stay with us. I think all of us leaders (and Bishop) learned something that day. I am amazed and humbled! The Lord works in a mysterious way!

Girl's Camp 2010

2010-06-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

Girl's Camp this year rocked my socks off! Really, it just blew me away! I came home a new person from that experience and I'll tell you why in a minute. Thank you, Summer for being an awesome camp director, and for all your hard work, and allowing me to be a part of it! Thank you, Echo and Kendra for being awesome leaders. I can tell those girls all really love you. And thank you, Daniela for the yummy meals I didn't have to cook.:) And last, but not least, a BIG shout out to the awesome 4th Ward girls! I have been so touched by you and I will remember this experience for the rest of my life.

The YCLs (youth camp leaders-16-year-olds) rode up with me on Tuesday and I had so much fun with them. We bonded almost instantly and I'm grateful for that. These girls are some of the strongest girls I've met, I know that the Lord is hard at work preparing them for great things. In fact, I am certain of that, because of what I (and everyone around) witnessed as the week went on.

I'll just get to the point...Summer and I (but Summer did soooo much, and I helped):) I'm trying to give her the credit here, because I know it was mostly her and I'm grateful for her hard work set up the rod of iron experience. The Saturday before camp we drove up to Kolob with 600 feet of PVC pipe and 20-some-odd pieces of rebar. Michelle Stratton from Hurricane came to help too, because they wanted to have it for the Hurricane Stake this next week. Which turned out perfect!! They helped so much! In fact, I know the Lord had His hand in this, because of how perfect everything turned out to be....down to the very last detail. After a bit of searching we came across THE tree, it was the perfect tree! Huge....placed in a beautiful clearing....overlooking the Kolob mountain-scape. (In fact, us leaders felt that this tree was so perfect that we thought the Lord planted and grew this tree for this very purpose). This would be our Tree of Life. We decorated it with white Christmas lights, and the rod we assembled by attaching each section of pipe with "T"s and resting the "T" on the re-bar which was pounded in the ground. It was pretty simple. The rod went by the road, down a hill and through some trees.

Along the way we had a "great and spacious" building and "river" with a bridge going over it. This is where the "tempters" were. We had several people working to get the girls to let go of the rod. The best were the RMs (acting, of course) to be cute bad boys and telling them to come party with them and other things. It was real tough for some of the girls to not let go.:)

Thursday night we assembled around the fire and Bro Leavenworth led a discussion and we read the account of Lehi's Vision in the 8th chapter of 1 Nephi. (now, keep in mind, we had 7 investigators in our group of girls, or rather 7 non-members). As we ended it was dark and a perfect time to start the thing. We led the girls in a big group down to where the rod started. None of the girls knew what is going on. (in fact, the YCLs thought it was a prank). It was my job to lead each girl individually (all 30 of them) to the rod and send them on their way. I took each girl by the arm and walked them down to where the rod started, and all I said to them was "here is the rod, hold on to it." First they passed the spacious building with the boys and then went across the bridge and then up a hill (tempters all around them and in their face, telling them anything that would make them come off the rod). I followed the last girl through and although I knew what was going on, I even had a hard time ignoring some of that. Once the girls were up the hill they put their blindfolds on and followed the rod until they got to the tree. The bishopric and the YW Pres, and 1st Counselor were there at the tree dressed in white. The girls said that they looked like angels. On the tree were bracelets that we made for them with white beads. That was the "fruit." They each hugged their leaders and partook of the fruit.

When I got there I was humbled!! Nearly every single girl was crying and sniffling and even sobbing. I could tell that the spirit was amazingly strong. These girls were feeling the pure love of God. All I could do was stand and watch the impact that this experience had on them. Right at that moment I knew that all the stress of preparing this was worth every bit. This experience is something these girls will remember for the rest of their lives....I will remember it for the rest of my life. The Lord does have a work...I know He was directing this. I know that without a doubt He is preparing these girls for great things. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to help make it happen, even if it didn't seem like I did very much.

Among these young women is a 16-year-old, who is investigating the church. And every time I think of her and her situation, tears come to my eyes. It's rare to meet someone so young who has such strength. She is an inspiration to me. If anything, I have come away in awe and respect for the work I can see happening with her. I know the Lord has great things in store for her. I have been touched by it. She is getting baptized in July and I am so excited for her. I can't wait to be there to see her become a member of the church!!

The perfect date!

2010-05-14T07:17:00.000-07:00

Oh we didn't really do anything THAT spectacular......we only went to see the funniest comedian in the world!!! BRIAN REGAN!!! It was pretty awesome! We were in tears from laughing so hard, and my cheeks hurt. It felt good to have my cheeks hurt. My cheeks haven't hurt like that in a while. You know what I mean...the kind of hurt that comes because you've been laughing all night and your eyes are stinging with tears because you just can contain the funny emotions that want to spill out of your body? That kind of funny! Yes, my friends, he is that good.
And when I thought the night couldn't be any better...Coldplay was playing through of the speakers the entire "wait period" before the show. Coldplay is my (and Kevin's) ultimate favorite band!! It seemed to be a night just for us!
He's playing at Tuachan all weekend, and if you have tickets, count yourself lucky....because alas, he is sold out! Perhaps you can go on Craig's List to see if anyone is selling....there is hope! Go see him!! It is worth every penny!

What a month, eh?

2010-04-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

Where has the time gone, honestly? What a horrible blogger I have turned out to be. Let's do a quickie to catch up, shall we? (and stop thinking dirty, that's NOT what I meant!)

First thing first...this month I applied to Western Governor's University (an online school). In a previous post (abt Sept09) I mentioned that I was looking into going back to school and Steven's Henager was the educator candidate. Well, that ship sailed when I found out that it would cost me $20,000 in student loans (and that is after pell grants, my friends) to get just a BS!! (That is B.S.). In the words of Kyler..."Are you kidding me right now??" So, to make a long story short...I discovered from a friend that WGU was also an online school and was pretty reasonable. I went for it. They were right. It is a non-profit org, which keeps the cost low (pells will almost cover all the tuition and what is left I can get a loan that I can pay back quickly or even save for). It's competency-based (if I know enough in a particular subject I can test out of it), and they charge by the term rather than the credit hour. So, obviously if I take more classes in a term I'll finish quicker and it will cost me less. How many classes can I handle? I'm not sure yet...:) I've been accepted and I start officially on Saturday! Wahoo! Come on, stress, bring it on! I can handle you!

Also this month I was called to be Assistant Girls Camp Director. I am so thrilled! I've been dying to work with the youth again ever since our ward split when we lived in Hurricane! We had a camp activity tonight and I got to go! There are some really cute girls and leaders in the ward. I know we are going to have so much fun! The stake theme this year is Sailing Home...so if any of you have some fun ideas for me just throw them at me! I'd love to hear it!

My bookkeeping business is just trudging along!:) I've set up a system for Phazes Fitness and it's working great! I've been learning alot!! If you are needing some motivation to workout and even personal training help go see Michelle at Phazes Fitness! It's VERY affordable for the kind of treatment you get! The staff is great there! You will love it! GO, go!! Get off your buns, and GO! Tell them Paulette sent you!:) Michelle is doing a couch-to-5K program, as well as Bootcamps! They will get you fit and help you stay that way!

Wish I had more time...I'm leaving my sweet family for the next few days and going off to Women's Conference at BYU! It's going to be awesome! So, I'd better "hit the sack," as my mother would say! Good night y'all!

Dr. Seuss Week @ School

2010-03-23T21:08:00.000-07:00

Can you guess what these two crazy kids dressed up as??

This was for the Friday "Dress as your favorite Dr. Seuss Character" during Literature Week at school. I think they had way too much fun!

Liz is so creative! She thought of her costume herself! I've got to get her into acting...she LOVES it! So, if you know of anyone taking students, be sure to let me know!:)

Kyler had so much fun dressing up too!

Reasons to be happy today.

2010-03-16T09:20:00.000-07:00

Ah! I am so happy this morning! Why do I feel so happy? Many reasons, I think.

One might be that my 2-year-old son who has refused to take naps since we moved him out of his crib is finally sleeping soundly on the couch. Ah, that alone is bliss for a mother.

The cat is cuddled up in my lap and purring away. I realize that there are cat-lovers and cat-haters in the world, and I'm okay with that. I myself prefer cats over dogs...but also believe that there is a limit (no one should have more than one...or possibly two cats, unless you want to be labeled "crazy cat woman"). Boa and I have a nice relationship. He cleans himself, doesn't lick my face, and doesn't do his "duty" (Marie, that's for you:)) on the carpet, and I in turn pet him and let him sit on my lap. Dogs ARE different.:)

I am still basking in the aftermath of our AWESOME and much needed family vacation. Southern California is SO pretty, with it's green palm trees and majestic ocean, particularly San Diego. It's a shame that Disneyland isn't located in San Diego, that's the only flaw. Sea World was neat...I was amazed at all the creatures and animals that I tend to forget about living here in the mountains. The ocean is truly full of so many fantastic creatures. My favorite was not the Shamu Show (although, it was awesome), it was the Sting Ray Pool. Strange, I know. Don't worry, the stingers were removed (of course they were). We were able to touch them and they swam along the edge, of their own free will, so we could. They felt wet and slimy and their mouths sucked like a vacuum. It was bazaar, but so fascinating at the same time!! The weather was chilly which made the Shamu Show a little less than pleasant, so it was a bit of a disappointment. As fascinating as Sea World is it is not, however, Disneyland, for it truly is the happiest place on earth. Which is why we decided to go there on the last day of our vacation. Just out of the blue.:) And although it was pricey, I'm so glad we did. It completed our awesome vacation!! Kevin and I decided that you can't visit So. Cal. without going to Disneyland. All the happiness gravitates there. We resisted for a few days, but had to give in!:)

We had Stake Conference when we got back. We almost didn't attend the adult session on Saturday night because we were so tired from just getting back from Cali, but I made a commitment to sing in the choir so I felt that we had to go. Wow! And I am so glad we did. It was one of the best meetings I have ever been to. The experience of singing in that choir was once in a lifetime. The director was awesome, and the sopranos were breathtaking! "Beautiful Savior" was sung with such feeling and reverence. I love that hymn. Did you know it has existed since the 1200s? And I'm sure that it will still be sung into the millennium. Elder Pierson of the 70 spoke to us. He has a gift for speaking! It reminded me of listening to John Bytheway's talks when I was a teenager, but better.:) He spoke for an hour on Lehi's Vision, the Tree of Life. What I realized during his talk is that I'm not as close to the tree as I want to be, or even thought I was. I don't cling tight to the scriptures. I might even categorize myself as in the group that would partake of the fruit and yet be embarrassed and ashamed by the great and spacious building. I clearly have more work to do to increase my understanding of the works of God. Kevin and I decided on a motto for the rest of our lives "Stay close to the tree!" What a fantastic experience, and to think that we just about missed out on it.:) I'm grateful for the choir for making me be there!

Things at Random

2010-03-07T10:14:00.001-08:00

Just sittin' here lazily on a Sunday morning...the nice thing about going to church at 1pm. I'm kinda liking the 1pm thing. I don't feel rushed at all and I can make last minute preps for my primary class (that I have yet to do).:) The aroma of crock-pot-roast-beef is in the air. And the torture of it all is that it is Fast Sunday. Why did I decide to cook a roast on Fast Sunday?? So....I'm trying to distract myself.

This week has been GREAT! I LOVE my new house. It's so NEW! I'm a little afraid of what it will look like 6 years from now, after leaving the rental we were in for 6 years which was brand spanking new when we moved in it. It needed new carpet badly and the whole house needed painted again. But I guess those things are pretty minor, just wear and tear...I just want my house to always be new!! Can that be arranged?? Anyone???:)

I had my first meeting with my first client for my bookkeeping/income tax business on Friday! I'm very excited! It's actually working! I am an official entrepreneur, out on my very own. This is the start of great things to come! My client is a new small business in LaVerkin that offers fitness training and classes. And I am always looking for more people to help with their income taxes. I can officially file under my own name now with my uncle's firm and I can do it all from home. So, friends, if you will spread the word! I'm less-expensive than Jackson-Hewitt or H&R Block. I'd be happy to help you!:)

I got a haircut!! Not just any haircut....I chopped it! I was nervous at first...short hair has always scared me a bit, but I was feeling daring and I'm glad I did. I'm loving it! It's light and airy and fun and sassy!! I don't have time for pictures today, so you'll be left in suspense! Sorry!! Oh the cruelty, I know.:)

Tomorrow is the first day of our San Diego Vacation and it couldn't come soon enough! I can't wait to see the beach and have fun with the penguins and dolphins at Sea World. Pictures are to come, I'm sure!

Happy Spring Break, everyone!!

It's Moving Day!

2010-02-22T16:16:00.001-08:00

We just received word....we have the go to start moving stuff in. We can't move in yet, however, there are a couple of issues that the electrician has to fix before the city will grant the C of O. But we can move our STUFF as of right now!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

We did it! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I feel like climbing to the highest point in the Hurricane Valley and screaming it at the top of my lungs!! NO MORE COLOR COUNTRY! No more renting!!! I AM a homeowner! Ah, the smell of sweet victory!:)

Get ready for some major picture posting once we get our furniture situated. Come on over and we'll sip a Coke (or beverage of your choice) out in my courtyard! I am extending the invitation! Don't be shy!:) I can hardly wait! What a fabulous day!

Landscaping.....Check!

2010-02-16T19:38:00.000-08:00

Our beautiful Autumn Blaze Pear tree, just about to bloom. Oh, it's gonna be so pretty!

Yes, my friends, the yard is COMPLETE! I reckon we'll be moving in by next week. That is if all goes well. I am SO ready to be done! Ya know, I've heard that building a house is as stressful as going through a divorce or death in the family....and I think I believe it. But in the end it'll be worth it all! I'm looking forward to the day when I can sleep in my new room for the first time and cook on my new stove...and have friends over to BBQ! The work is really just beginning...BUT we will be in our house and I think that fact should make it easier.

We did it! We built a house with our own hands! We've learned so much and are constantly learning more everyday! I'm so excited to be a homeowner...it makes me feel so grown-up! I'm so proud of the house we built...I can't wait to have friends over to enjoy it with!!

PHEW!!

New House....New Ward....New Life??

2010-02-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

So, friends....although we haven't moved quite yet, we took the mighty plunge and attended our new ward yesterday. It was exciting and a little bit scary. But we managed well, and we feel like it is where we need to be at this time. We now belong to the LaVerkin 4th Ward. Goodbye, Hurricane 14th Ward...we will miss all of you! We aren't far away, though...and there is always Facebook.:) That's what Facebook is for right?

I'm not one for long good-byes. Maybe it's because I can't handle the thought of leaving. Maybe it's because I know if I linger too long I'll have an emotional breakdown. Change is hard...it's the uncertainty of it all (not to mention having to leave those I've grown to love). BUT...(I know you felt it coming)...change can be a good thing...change allows me to grow and try new things and develop the quality of my life and my character...meet new people who will influence my life all the more.

So as hard as it is for me to say "good-bye" I'm looking forward to what lies in store for me and my family. I'm hopeful for the future. To all those I've grown to know and love: remember I'm always just a call away or a drive down the road (closer than Walmart, actually...and I don't even have to change my phone number.):)

And to all those new neighbors in the little po-dunk town of LaVerkin (I say "po-dunk" NON-cynically...I love the "po-dunkness" of towns...I grew up in one...): watch out, cause here comes Paulette and I'm excited to get to know all of you and to see what lies in store!!

Rain, Rain Go Away...I Want to Plant My Grass!

2010-01-28T08:36:00.000-08:00

Here I sit, at my computer tortured by the after effects of yet another rain storm which has hindered our progress. It is the 28th day of January and still the house is NOT complete. My biggest nightmare, I have to admit, was that February would be lurking around the corner and still we would be working on the house. Will it ever end, honestly?? Dumb, Rain! Don't you know that we can't plant grass in mud?? Actually we can't plant grass until the curbing is done and the curbing can't get done if it's raining. Ugh! The Lord must be testing my patience. It's fitting that He knows the perfect time to do so.:)

However, on a more happy note, all the sprinkler systems are installed as of yesterday...so that is a huge task now out of the way. Let's cross our fingers that by next weekend I can begin the daunting task of moving all my junk. I can do it!!:) It is possible!! Paulette, just keep telling yourself encouraging thoughts. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

Fun With The Book Of Mormon

2010-01-19T08:30:00.000-08:00

It's a good day. I feel the rain has brought a new beginning. Last night was a blast! We took the kids to the funnest place on earth (well, perhaps the funnest place in St. George). My kids were still talking about it this morning. Jump'n Jacks is a place full of those big bounce houses where you pay a one-time fee and you can play all you want. It is quite a workout for the parents to try to get our big bodies up up up so we can slide down down down. Kyler was the pro! I raced him through the obstacle course and of course he beat me. Liz beat me too. Even Eli managed to climb pretty good by himself. It was a fun family night.

Kevin and I have been reading the Book of Mormon together this year. And I believe it is blessing our lives and our relationship. I love that book. It rings true in my ears. Nephi has such great faith! I have a hard time comprehending that magnitude of faith. But something I feel makes me think that I can have that kind of faith too. I just need to do the work to build it up, and I need to work at it more than I have been. I love Nephi...he was a constant for his family...even when his father Lehi started to murmur Nephi didn't. He got up, figured out how to make a new bow and being so week from hunger still hunted (which I can imagine is physically exhausting) and found food for his starving family. Because of the faith (which involves working...not just believing) Nephi possessed his family didn't perish from hunger in the wilderness. Talk about amazing!! And his brothers still hated him...what's up with that??

I love how the Book of Mormon is easy to comprehend. I started reading the Old Testament last year, and it is a great book too. But there is just so much I don't understand. I feel like there has to be something symbolic about what was said because reading it in the context it's in makes no sense. We are in the Isaiah chapters of 2Nephi and I sense the drastic change. I know that it is important...for Nephi and Jacob are teaching from it and they want us to gain from it. I'm going to have to ponder more about them because as I read through the chapter I finish with the feeling that I haven't a slightest clue what Isaiah just said. I clearly have some work to do to increase my faith and understanding. Isaiah, what are you saying?? I do want to know!

I'm Back....Muhahahaha!

2010-01-16T15:45:00.000-08:00

So...this whole anti-internet thing going on in our place of residence just wasn't exactly ideal. Yes, you guessed it, I buckled down and spoke to the nice Qwest lady earlier this week to see what we could do to get it back. It turns out I should have spoke to her a long time ago, because now we have unlimited long-distance AND high-speed internet for cheaper than what we had before. It pays to communicate, my friends. But I've told myself that I have to be better disciplined, no more silly FB games to waste time on (only blogs to waste time on:))...so here's hopin'. It's good to be back...I've missed it.

Today was a most fantastic day!! The only thing bad about it is that we have no batteries for the camera so I don't have pictures to share (curse-ed batteries)...you'll just have to drive by to see it for yourselves. Our house is SO beautiful, it takes my breath away! Now that the driveway is in we are getting down and dirty (literally). We got out the shovels, picks and rakes and started to break up the earth and dig out the rocks and makin' a plan for the final landscape. I love working outside, there is just something about the dirt and rocks (maybe it's the fresh air) that calms the soul. The fact that it was MY piece of earth made it that much more exciting. All of our hard work (blood, sweat and tears, mind you) is finally paying off and it feels so darn good to know we accomplished something so great! It's been a long, stressful, emotional road...but I'm starting to feel the benefits. I can NOT wait to move in! And I can't wait to have my friends over to show it off!:)

Gotta Make This Quick

2010-01-05T10:36:00.000-08:00

I'm at the library because I don't have internet at my house. And it sucks!! I miss my blogging. But I must say that the last couple of weeks without it have been less distracting and hopefully we are saving money. I want to let you all know that I still love you, and I miss reading your blogs. Maybe we'll just have to go out like we used to so we can catch up on our lives.:) What has the internet done to us anyway??:) Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not so good.:) Hope you are having a great new year!!

Merry Christmas!!

2009-12-06T21:52:00.000-08:00

We did it....well, it would be better to say that THEY did it! We have a Christmas tree! Whoop, whoop! And this is the first year in the last 10 that Kevin and I have been together (has it really been 10??) that I didn't have anything to do with the whole project. Yesterday Kevin took the kids, by himself (what a man) up the mountain to pick out a perfect tree. I stayed behind to get the grouting accomplished in the house, with my mom as my trusty helper. Yes, I told you she is pretty special...she is always willing to help out, even if it means hard labor.

They came back with (what can I say)....an interesting tree. I almost laughed...then I thought...where is my spirit of Christmas?? Who cares if the middle is skinnier than the top, and the bottom branches reach clear to China?? It's a step above Charlie Brown's, at least.:) Today we set it up and Liz and Kyler decorated the whole thing by themselves, with the exception of Kevin's light placement. And looking at it right now...I have to say that it is growing on me...it has found it's place in our home as OUR Christmas tree and I am glad that it is here. My favorite part was watching my children's faces light up with joy as they placed the decorations on it. And I don't think I'll even fix it...it's just beautiful as it is!

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!!

So Strange

2009-12-04T13:27:00.000-08:00

While everyone is gift shopping and decorating and getting excited for Christmas....I'm shopping for plants to put in my new front yard. This Holiday Season has been strange for me. Here it is the 4th of December and there isn't so much as a stocking hang ing up in our house. We have no Christmas tree yet...I'm starting to feel a little bit ba-humbug-ish. The house is consuming me...all I want to do is get it done and move in, and it feels like it will never happen.

I had a fun time this morning going to the nursery to pick out some cool plants for our front yard. It makes me so stinking excited to be done! And I'm so sick of tiling I could puke my guts out, and we have yet to do the grouting. The end is near....I have to keep telling myself...there will be a time when it is complete and we can move in...and I won't have to lif t a measuring tape for a few months, at least. 4 more weeks...4 more weeks...4 more weeks.... Ugh!

I hope you all are having a Merry Christmas Season!! And for a bit of advice...don't try to finish a new house during the holidays....it's just too crazy!:)

In Continuation...

2009-12-02T15:54:00.000-08:00

To continue from the previous post...

4. I'm thankful for my mom! She is such a wonderful mom. She is always there when I need her, even if it's a last-minute thing. We wouldn't be able to build our house without her, for she watches our kids 90% of the time (3 days a week for 8 months now). She manages to clean my house, do some laundry and watch the kids in those few hours. She IS Superwoman!! I'm still trying to figure out how to do all that at the same time. She plays games with my kids and they love her for that. She is a wonderful grandma! I'm grateful to have her for my mom.

5. Our beautiful brand spanking new house! It has been alot of work and has caused some stressful situations...but I can't deny how blessed I feel to finally own my very own house with an awesome back yard! It is finally coming together and I get so excited thinking about moving in. We will make many memories in that house. I'm so grateful for the chance to be a homeowner...I thought we'd never be. We are truly blessed!!

6. This FREE country we live in. Just the thought of NOT possessing the privilege to think and act for myself, to give my children all they need, to kneel down and pray at night, to attend my worship service, to own my own house, to eat what I want...ect. makes me shudder. It sickens me a bit to think that there are people in this world that don't possess that privilage. I am so grateful for those who died that I may have that privilage. That I may go out in public with my pajamas on (if I so choose to), that I may go out in public at all (being a woman and all). There is so much we seem to take for granted. I am proud to be an American!! (Obama, take that to the bank)

5. For chocolate...it just tastes so good.

6. For good friends!

7. For the gospel in my life. It has brought me much peace and comfort, joy and happiness, and sense of purpose. I am a child of God...and I'm learning more and more every year of what that really means.

8. For butterflies and flowers....they are beautiful...I miss them, now that it's winter.

9. For people that do random acts of kindness...they have no particular reason to be kind...they just are.

In Honor of Thanksgiving...

2009-11-18T08:45:00.000-08:00

Before I forget I get caught up in the rustle and bustle of the holidays I'd like to take an opportunity to begin a list of things I'm thankful for. (I say begin because I have so much to be thankful for, the list may go on for eternity....and how much time do we have, really?)

1. My husband and best friend, and my Prince Edward....Kevin Farnsworth. He never fails to make me laugh...I love that about him. He is creative and clever and oh so adorable. I am so happy that he was daring enough to choose me to grow old with. Yesterday after a hard day's work he came home and took care of the kids, helped them with their homework, and the dishes, and even took us out for ice cream at DQ. This treatment is always nice, but it was particularly nice yesterday because I was so exhausted from laying tile all day. Thank you, my darling sweetie! You are the BEST!

2. My children....ALL three of them. Elizabeth for her clever jokes and for keeping us on the straight and narrow. She gives the best FHE lessons and she does it entirely by herself. She's a darn good speller and reader (4th grade level, I might add) and she's so fun to be around. Sometimes I have to beat off her friends so I can have a chance to spend time with her.:) Everyone loves Elizabeth. I'm so grateful to have her in my life...she's too good to be MY daughter. I'm so honored to be her mom.:)

Kyler is the sweetest, most handsome boy you will ever meet. He'll have the little girls swooning over him before he knows what hit him...not only is he handsome, he's kind and loves to laugh and sing and he gives the best hugs. Kyler is our early bird rooster...he gets us up around the same time every morning no matter what time he goes to bed. Although he has a speech delay and is hard to understand, he is always full of surprises. He's very smart and reads very well. I expect great things from him.

My sweet Eli is my pride and joy. His arrival gave me much ease over losing the twins. He is so friendly and observant. I like to think of him as a big boy in a toddler body...very independent, determined and persistent. He knows what he wants and knows how to get it. Most of the time he just points and grunts until I give it too him. He's got it figured out...all he has to do is tap his fingertips together (the sign for "more") to get candy...that's pretty much all a kid needs to know. And his laugh is just so contagious I can hardly stand it.

To be continued....

Where's Paulette??

2009-11-09T22:39:00.000-08:00

San Juan High School Band 1994

Yes, my friends, I was a band-nerd and very proud of it!! Can you find me??
hint: right side, towards the top
And by the looks of it...I was a band-nerd with an attitude.:)

My First Book Review

2009-10-23T12:58:00.000-07:00

What, I had time to read a book? That's what you are thinking....huh? If any of you know me I've been swamped for several months working on the house. It takes a big chunk out of my week. But I stumbled across our CD walkman (that we purchased right after we got married....back when EVERONE had a plethora of CD's and maybe a few tapes....before the MP3 era) and I thought to myself "Paulette, why don't you listen to a book on CD while you work?" I must say it's the best idea I've come up with in a long time. It takes my mind off of the hours of labor-work I'm doing and transforms me to a different place in the life of someone else. I'm starting to really grow found of books on CD...cause I finally have the time to "read" them, and my hands are free to do the work I need to.

So, back to the point of this post.....I just finished this book "The Choice" by Nicholas Sparks. If you are unfamiliar with him, you might recognize his other work "The Notebook." That movie even made Kevin cry (don't tell him I said that.) I went to the library in pursuit of that book, but rather came across another one (as "The Notebook" wasn't there). "The Choice" was fantastic! Romantic, charming, funny, passionate, cry-your-eyes-out-sad...everything wanted in a tragic love-story. I haven't read a book like this in a very long time. It blows "Twilight" out of the water (but as my friends know me my opinion of Meyer's book was never all that great.) But I'm a more down-to-earth kinda gal, and dispite the plot pretence "The Choice" was anything but cheesy. And were it written by any other author I might have had a different opinion. I credit Sparks' style for making such a story so down-to-earth, and with an aura of suspense. I knew what I WANTED to happen for the characters, but he left me wondering if it would happen that way. It is a tragic love story that left me wanting to read it again.

I'll leave it at that. I wouldn't want to ruin it for you! Go read it for yourself!:)

Perhaps, the reason I haven't been too much of a reader is because of the fact I find so many stories dull and books that are supposed to be "romantic" I find cheesy. More times than not I find myself disappointed and frustrated that I wasted my time, as nothing has impressed me like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings did. But I'm beginning to discover that it doesn't have to be the case. Just maybe I've been reading the wrong books. I'm excited to see if I can find another one.:)

My Beef and Potato Skillet

2009-10-18T20:39:00.000-07:00

Beef and Potato Skillet

I was feeling very a little crazy last night. I did something out of the ordinary....I got creative with my cooking. I call it, as mentioned above, Beef and Potato Skillet....and yes, it's a Paulette original....no recipe whatsoever!:) Perhaps you could say that I'm a culinary genius, but I'll just say that I'm getting better at throwing stuff together. And for the record, my family LOVED it! This is what I did...(now I can say that it is a recipe) and if you decide you are brave enough to try it be sure to let me know if you liked it.:)
*Please note that none of these measurements are precise, I just do it to where it looks right (hey, you can say I learned it from Rachel Ray.):)

3 Tbsp of vegetable oil
4-5 medium (unpeeled) potatoes cubed
salt (be generous) and pepper, onion pwdr and garlic pwdr
*Cook on med-high heat for 5 min or until the potatoes start to get crispy edges

Add 1 pint bottle of roast beef (I used what I bottled last winter, but the canned beef would be good too.)

1-2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce (I love this stuff, it makes red meat super yummy!)
Blanched or frozen broccoli
*Reduce heat to med and cook until potatoes are tender
Top off with abt 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese and mix in

The Doors

2009-10-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

Just in case you were wondering...here is what I've been up to at that house of ours this week. I took it upon myself to set the interior doors (not as easy as you might think). Every framed door-way is never exactly the same nor are they ever completely perfect. So there is adjusting and tweaking involved to get them to "appear" perfect. I guess it's sorta like an optical illusion. You may never look at your doors the same way again (I know I won't).

Exhibit A:
Notice the lonesome door nestled against the wall.

It's gotta go in the big hole in THIS wall.

How do you do that?

Well, you see that long wide stick thingy? It's called a shim (in case you were wondering).
This is what will help adjust the door so it's nice and even ALL around.
We don't want crooked doors that stick. (We aren't crooked people and the only thing that should be sticky is glue.)

Looking pretty good...not bad...

What's this?? There is a gap in the upper corner....that just won't do!
How on earth do you fix that??

What?@(#&$^ I have to saw the bottom off? I think I'll be here a while....

And viola! 30 minutes, a sweaty face, and a sore arm later (we can thank the saw for that)...we have a door in the wall. Phew...construction is hard work!

And for an extra treat here are a couple of views from my new front door!

I love it! It's particularly lovely when it's raining!

This Stuff is Amazing!!

2009-10-13T06:34:00.000-07:00

A while back (maybe a few months ago) a friend of mine sent me an email about the wonders of hydrogen peroxide and just an idea of what it can do. Since then I've bought several bottles of the stuff (very cheap, I might add), and have put it to the test on several occasions. Before I thought it was mainly used for cleaning wounds. I can remember countless times when my mother used it when I scraped my knee as a child. It stung like the dickens, but the bubbling action was cool-looking as it worked to kill all those germs.
I've now come to realize that it can be used for so many more things and it's environmentally safe. You can even put it in your mouth and it will only help you, not harm you (I wouldn't swallow it, though. But that might not be harmful either, I just don't want to try it). And the BEST part is that it's way cheap! Costco sells it in two huge bottles for around 2 bucks.

Anyway, back to my story...last night I was working at the motel, and I started coughing. It was one of those painful coughs that live deep in the lungs, and I couldn't stop. As the minutes wore on I could feel it getting worse, and I was dreading it. I did NOT want to be sick!! And coughs like these don't go away easily. They linger FOREVER! I rummaged through my mother-in-law's medicine cabinet (don't judge! I know you've all done that before.) and found that blessed brown bottle. (Mind you, it says mouth wash and gargle right on the bottle, so yes, it is safe to put in your mouth. It just doesn't have that same minty taste....be brave, my friends!) Right as it hit my tongue it started to bubble (GROSS!! There really are alot of germs in the mouth of someone that is sick, or even getting sick.) and I gargled for a good 10-15 seconds and spit! (have to spit it all out). I did that twice and went back to work. It seemed to help for a little bit, but the cough started to come back and by the time I made it home I was coughing again. But I didn't give up, friends. I gargled two more times, said a prayer, then went to bed.
This morning, I am happy to report, I woke up with NO cough. I am astounded! I am SO glad I am not in bed sick today (I just can't be sick right now). My throat is still a little raspy, but I can tell I won't have that deep hackout-your-lungs cough. Brilliant! I will probably gargle one more time to make sure the germs are dead! Yehaw!! Thank you, peroxide, you have become my best friend!!

Here are some more ideas of how I have used the stuff (I'll even cut and paste the email I got to give you some more info):

-I have a spray bottle full of straight peroxide that I have used as a cleaning agent (for bathroom counters and toilets and stuff). I love to see it bubble, it's truly mind-boggling to see where germs can linger.
-I use it as a glass cleaner to clean the mirrors (it leaves a streak-free shine).
-I dip a q-tip in it to clean my ears, it bubbles and crackles. This is especially helpful when my ears are itchy or clogged. (itchy ears are a sign of infection). It helps with earwax as well.
-For yucky goopy noses I use a q-tip too. (usually have to do it more than once to clean out all the gunk and kill all the germs of the infection).
-I have used it in the laundry to help boost the whites, rather than bleach.
-I use it as a mouth wash (occasionally, because I can't stand the taste of it). Supposedly it will help whiten your teeth and it surely kills the germs too.

Here is what was in the email (FYI):

Peroxide

This was written by Becky Ransey of Indiana (a doctor's wife), and I
want to share it with you. She was over recently for coffee and
smelled the bleach I was using to clean my toilet and counter tops.
This is what she told me:

I would like to tell you of the benefits of that plain lit tle ole
bottle of 3% peroxide you can get for under $1.00 at any drug store
What does bleach cost?

My husband has been in the medical field for over 36 years, and most
doctors don't tell you about peroxide. Have you ever smelled bleach in
a doctor's office? NO!!! Why? Because it smells, and it is not
healthy! Ask the Nurses who work in the doctor's offices , and ask
them if they use bleach at home. They are wiser and know better!

Did you also know bleach was invented in the late 40's? It's
chlorine, folks! And it was used to kill our troops. Peroxide was
invented during WWI in the 20's. It was used to save and help cleanse
the needs of our troops and hospitals.

Please think about this:

1. Take one capful (the little white cap that comes with the bottle)
and hold in your mouth for 10 minutes daily, then spit it out. (I do
it when I bathe.) No more canker sores, and your teeth will be whiter
without expensive pastes. Use it instead of mouthwash.

2. Let your toothbrushes soak in a cup of peroxide to keep them free
of germs.

3. Clean your counters and table tops with peroxide to kill germs and
leave a fresh smell. Simply put a little on your dishrag when you
wipe, or spray it on the counters.

4. After rinsing off your wooden cutting board, pour peroxide on it
to kill salmonella and other bacteria.

5. I had fungus on my feet for years until I sprayed a 50/50 mixture
of peroxide and water on them (especially the toes) every night and
let dry.

6. Soak any infections or cuts in 3% peroxide for five to ten minutes
several times a day . My husband has seen gangrene that would not heal
with any medicine but was healed by soaking in peroxide.

7. Fill a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water and
keep it in every bathroom to disinfect without harming your septic
system like bleach or most other disinfectants will.

8. Tilt your head back and spray into nostrils with your 50/50 mixture
whenever you have a cold, plugged sinus. It will bubble and help to
kill the bacteria. Hold for a few minutes, and then blow your nose
into a tissue.

9. If you have a terrible toothache and cannot get to a dentist right
away, put a capful of 3% peroxide into your mouth and hold it for ten
minutes several times a day. The pain will lessen greatly.

10. And of course, if you like a natural look to your hair, spray the
50/50 solution on your wet hair after a shower and comb it through.
You will not have the peroxide-burnt blonde hair like the hair dye
packages but more natural highlights if your hair is a light brown,
faddish, or dirty blonde.
** It also lightens gradually, so it's not a drastic change.

11. Put half a bottle of peroxide in your bath to help rid boils
fungus, or other skin infections.

12. You can also add a cup of peroxide instead of bleach to a load of
whites in your laundry to whiten them. If there is blood on clothing
pour it directly on the soiled spot. Let it sit for a minute, then
rub it and rinse with cold water. Repeat if necessary.

13. I use peroxide to clean my mirrors. There is no smearing, which
is why I love it so much for this.

I could go on and on. It is a little brown bottle no home should be
without!
With prices of most necessities rising, I'm glad there's a way to save
tons of money in such a simple, healthy manner!
T his information really woke me up. I hope you gain something from it,
too. I've known that with an infection, a bit of peroxide on that will
fizz and help to cure the infection. I've also known that if you had a
dog that's flea infested, a bit of peroxide in it's bath water will
kill them immediately. But never thought of all the above uses. It is
a very useful bottle to have in your home.

My Heritage in Exile

2009-09-13T22:35:00.000-07:00

Something happened tonight....well, more like I discovered something for the first time. Something I never realized before, some bit of information that has somehow slipped past my understanding until now, and now that I know it has given me a new sense of identity.... a new sense of appreciation for my heritage....a new sense of understanding who I am and where I came from. (I still can't believe she never told me, or we never really had any discussions about it before, at least none that I remember.)

I was at my mother's house this afternoon and she mentioned to me that she had received a few personal history documents she ordered through the DUP (daughters of utah pioneers). One particular being a history of Lucy D. Morley Allen....who is my 4th great grandmother, descended directly. I thought, how curious! I have come to learn an appreciation for personal histories, it's the kind of history I can wrap my head around. We can learn so much just from reading another's personal experience. So I innocently began to read it...not expecting too much...I hadn't even been so much as warned what was to be found in it, just that it was a bunch of papers stapled together. My curiosity grew the more I read it.

Lucy was born in Kirtland, Ohio near the early 1800s (I hate remembering dates so I don't know the exact year). She was living with a family whom she worked for doing many household chores, sewing, stuff like that.:) One day the family was visited by none other than Parley P. Pratt and Sidney Rigdon. She was curious about these travelers and wanted to know more about why they had come. The family she was with had heard rumors about the "mormons and their gold bible" and refused any bit of hospitality to these men, thinking that if they did they would certainly rot in hell. Well, Lucy (what a courageous woman!) did not buy into such bigotry (this is all in my own words, mind you) and told the men the way to her father's house a mile away and that they would find food and a bed there. She had a feeling about them...she asked that once she got her work done if she could go to her father's to talk with them. She was permitted, but only after being warned that their words are from Satan and she would be best not to be persuaded.

When Lucy arrived at her father's house the men were already in deep conversation with him. She ate up what they had to say and was soon baptized, as well as her father and the rest of the family. Her father being none other than Isaac Morley, my 5th great grandfather...directly descended. The same Isaac Morley whom the Prophet lived with when he and Emma first came to Kirtland, who is mentioned in the Doctrine and Covenants, who was an assistant to Bishop Partridge, who founded Manti, Utah, who was a dear friend to the prophet Joseph, the list goes on.:)

In all my 30 years I have never known that I am the granddaughter of a mighty pioneer...how did I not know?? I knew that William Morley Black was a grandfather of mine...and I had only assumed he was the closest claim to a pioneer ancestry I had. Which is great too, don't get me wrong.:) But wow!!! So next time you hear the name Isaac Morley I hope it brings a bit of tenderness....as I know it will for me!!:)

The New Paulette

2009-08-21T22:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's been a while since I posted. I must be busy or something to that nature.:) Either that or I spend my time reading all your blogs, and I've been very content doing that as of late. You all fascinate me so much that I haven't felt the need to post myself. But today has been an empower-me-day! Or has felt like it, at least.:)
I did it....I made an inquiry for a very nice "online" college and this morning I sat down with the Site Manager to discuss my options of going to their school to get my accounting degree. I had fun! It's been a long time since I had the chance to present myself as my own career seeker, and I felt empowered and like I could actually pull this off or something.:) (not meant to be a "that's what she said" joke, please):) Stevens-Henager is a fine business school and I am thrilled that they have a brand spanking new campus in St. George! The only thing holding me back at this point is to see how much financial aid I qualify for, and it will have to be ALOT, because online school ain't cheap! So, I will keep my fingers crossed, and I hope you will too! I am so excited to get my foot out there and learn some stuff.:)I must have been feeling great about myself...I did something very daring....something I NEVER do. I cut my own hair!! Bangs....I now have bangs! Truthfully, I've wanted to have bangs for a while now and whenever I try to be brave at the salon I end up leaving without them. I just can't take the agony of having to grow them out if they end up disaterous. Today was different....I did it...I changed my hair and thanks to many helpful tutorials from some pretty cute girls on YouTube I did it MYSELF! If that won't make you feel empowered I don't know what will.:)

What do you think? I'm liking it! Watch out, accounting world, and everyone else out there, here comes Paulette! (with bangs):)

Morning Scriptures With My Young Scholar

2009-08-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

Since Liz received her very own scriptures after getting baptized she LOVES to read them. I really hope this desire stays with her.
This morning, as we were eating our boiled eggs, I got out my set of scriptures that I might do some study. She immediately wanted to do it with me and I graciously accepted. I've been attempting to actually read the Old Testament (I've never done before) so foolishly I thought perhaps she might get bored real fast. We began reading about Abraham taking his son Isaac up to the mountain to offer him as a sacrifice. And we talked about how Abraham must have felt to give up is only son and how much faith he must have had to be willing to do such a thing. Then the angel came and saved the day and Abraham didn't have to kill his beloved son. And he was blessed greatly for his faith. Then we talked about why might Heavenly Father ask that of Abraham. He wanted Abraham to understand what it must have felt like to sacrifice His Only Begotten. He must love us so much! Heavenly Father was willing to do that for us so we could return to live with him again.
After our talk we both were teary-eyed and I think we both were a little more grateful for the blessings we enjoy. What a great way to start the day! I love moments like that! It touches my heart and brings joy to my soul! I am amazed everyday of the little girl I have! She surprises me how she strengthens my testimony! Wow!

Kyler's Trick

2009-07-20T15:45:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I was sitting on the couch folding some laundry while watching Harry Potter, Elizabeth was in her room playing with her friend Megan, when out of the corner of my eye I noticed Kyler run past me towards the front door. Then I heard the doorbell ring, I knew it was Kyler just being silly and I asked him to come inside a shut the door (so as not to let all the cold air out). Well, before coming in (like his mom asked him to) he rings the doorbell yet again -ding ding ding ding giggles a bit and comes in and shuts the door.
Meanwhile, I hear Elizabeth tell her friend that someone is at the door and they proceed to walk to the door so they may answer it. (all while passing a giggling Kyler, not even suspecting that he could a sneaky little boy who's up to no good). Only after opening the door and looking around to discover no one there does Elizabeth realize that there is a good reason why Kyler is standing right behind her giggling.
"Kyler!" she says. "You tricker!" after which she sits on him for punishment. I could tell all over Kyler's face that enduring the aftereffects of Liz's (shall I say) bum on him, that he thought it was well worth it! He was so proud of himself for tricking his big sister, I couldn't help myself but give him a high 5. Kyler, although you are such a sweet quite boy, you are full of surprises...no one should ever underestimate you!

My Baby is 8

2009-07-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. Elizabeth had another birthday (where does the time go?) The big 8...she has reached a milestone...not only will she be baptized real soon, but she will also receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. She is now accountable for the choices she makes. How did it happen so fast? How did my little girl become a little lady? Now she can go to the pool by herself, she can ditch the booster seat during car rides, and learn how to read music and play the piano. Eight sure is great! She is becoming more and more independent every day. It makes me a little sad inside to know that I'm loosing my little girl, but I am excited to see what the future holds for us and our relationship together as mother and daughter. All the talks we will have about friends and school and (dare I say it)...boys! Getting manicures and facials together and shopping for that one and only prom dress. And then before I know it I will be helping her with wedding plans and first baby blues. (okay, Paulette, don't get too carried away...she's only 8 for heaven's sake!) -sigh I am glad she is still young and we have plenty of time to worry about growing up. May it take longer than I expect, and may we enjoy every minute of it!

The Art of Housebuilding

2009-07-16T08:08:00.000-07:00

This has been a whirlwind of a summer. Most of my days have been spent entertaining the kids and building our new house along with 5 other houses. We are just about finished with the framing on 4 of the 6 houses, and it has been quite the spectacle. None of us, with the exception of our supervisor, have had any experience with regards to building a house from the floor up. The first house was spent pretty much observing what the supervisor (and a few volunteers who knew what they were doing). It was a bit frustrating on our parts because we wanted to be working and not just observing. But little by little we caught on and by the time we came to frame the 4th house the families were able to mark and frame the walls with little help from our supervisor and volunteers (who were busy doing other things to the other houses.)
It is a spectacle to behold how a house comes to existence. Regardless how immaculate the house is in the end, almost ALL houses start out the same....

first the footings are poured into the earth (every house needs a strong foundation),

then the concrete floor is poured which holds the utility hookups and rebar which allows the walls to be screwed into place.

Then the lumber, (various lengths of 2x4s, 2x6s, 2x10s, weather-treated 2x4s & 2x6s, sheet panels, etc.) arrives in several piles.

Then with some hard work, and a little passion (blood, sweat, and tears) measuring cutting and nailing...sure enough that pile of lumber becomes a house that you can walk through. Step by step...hard work makes something that once looked like just a pile of wood become something valuable. A place where a family can grow and learn together and LIVE. I am loving this opportunity to build our own house. I can't wait to move in and watch our children grow and become respectful adults and grow old with my husband I suppose we'll also have a cat, or perhaps a dog, or maybe even both.:)

My One and Only Blog

2009-07-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

After some thought...I decided (what the hay) I'm going to have my own blog. I have thoughts too...maybe not extraordinary thoughts...more like rantings and ramblings...but thoughts none the less. *what more can you expect from a stay-at-home mom with 3 kids and a husband and NO pets, (yet.)* Then I thought that it might be interesting to send my said thoughts out into the void that is the internet, then perhaps they can be released from MY mind and be free to wander as they please...somewhere other than my head. Strange as it seems...it will do more good for me than you, I regret to say. But then again, perhaps not.

Although, it has been extremely fun to blog about my family and share pictures with family and friends (and the rest of the cyberspace world)...which I don't intend to abandon...I feel I am in need of my own freedom of SELF-expression. So without further ado and without apologies (for you read at your own free will and choice)....I give you..............Paulette's Point! *no applause necessary.....really!